My last good memory of my father was around my twelfth birthday. I was very into My Little Ponies as a child, and he had agreed to get me a special, much more expensive Pony Palace as my gift. I was near the tale end of the time when I would spend hours spinning stories of pony adventures; what stands out for me now, years later, is how it was the last time we were really alone together. We ended up going to several different toy stores; at one of them I indicated we should just give up, but he was determined to get it for me - and it is that determination, that desire to bring me happiness that I cling to as my last good memory of my father. It's my reminder of a time when I was important enough for him to see.
He did other good things for me, but they were always tainted in some way - absent of his presence in a way that memory is not. My memories of my father effectively end four years later, when he made it much more difficult for me to visit him and nullified the custody arrangement my parents had since I was eight. In a way, that other memory has become a good one as well - viewed form now backwards - for in violating the agreement and making it more than clear he'd rather not see me, he gave me back my life, my happiness, my ability to feel joy. I was suicidally depressed until three months after the last time I visited him, and while artifacts of the depression - self hate, fat, reluctance to succeed - remain, I am now a healthier and happier person than I might have been if I kept stewing in the environment which made me want to end my life.
Sometimes the greatest gifts we are given are only apparent years later, in hindsight.
A quick note on some of the clothing - Since Monday I've been taking pictures of Dilly Doll's Renna's Weeklys undies - which are each marked with a day of the week and cover a wide gamut of colors. Two more days, and we'll have reached the end! The boots are my latest find at a new-to-me store, Kcreations, which is a fetish store - so yes, those are horse shoes you see on the bottom! However, the boots are flly color changable, including tinting, are fully mesh, and cost only 500$L! You read that right - 500$L for completely tintable, mesh, thigh high boots! I'm really hoping Kcreations will come out with some heels and ballet boots in the thigh high version, and then I will be in hog heaven.
( More pictures here. )
Credits:
Skin: De la Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De la Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ears
Eyelashes 1: Sauce, Sidewinder Lashes
Eyelashes 2: *X*plosion, PrimLashes
Eyeshadow: cheLLe, Tropical - blue and green
Eyeliner: cheLLe, Cleo Called Indigo
Lipstick: Mock, Micare LipGlimmer - Flirtatious
Hair: Calico Ingmann Creations, Calico - Light Violet
Headband: LaGyo, Peonies - aqua
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Necklace: Earthstones, Jumoke Necklace - Larimar
Lingerie: Dilly Dolls, Renna's Weeklys (promotional item)
Bracelet 1: Easrthstones, Stne Bangles - Turquoise
Bracelet 2: Silk & Satyr, Cloisonne Bangle 3
Ring 1: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring
Ring 2: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger Talisman
Heels: Kcreations, Pony Thighboot Leather
Poses: Magnifique
Location: Drowsy
Light Settings: Places Astryls Wild
Water: Glassy
Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only
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