Whatever I Fear

Whatever I fear the most is whatever I see before me
Whenever I let my guard down, whatever I was ignoring
Whatever I fear the most is whatever I see before me
Whatever I have been given, whatever I have been

Did we expect these things to change

By waking up and suddenly there they are

And all I need's a starting place

And nothing ever seemed so hard...

Helping Hands

Round Eight of the Artists-In-Residence for the Linden Endowment for the Arts has been announced, and chief among the winners - in the first sim, Sim 10, even! - is Whiskey Monday. Her plan is to build a number of sets on the sim, leaving them in place for other people to pop in and stage their own images. To do this, however, she needs funds and props - and so she sent out a call to us for Linden, full perm objects, and poses so that people who don't collect them as rabidly as Second Life photographers do can still participate. You can also stop by LEA 10 to purchase the inaugural art of the Sim as part of supporting her endeavors.

I'm really looking forward to placing myself inside of her creations, as it's something I've wanted to do for a while. I'm not a great set builder in general, having focused on taking images in situ, and so this is a dream come true for me. In honor of the attempt, I snuck onto her sim a little early, swam around a bit, and found some helping hands hiding under the waves. Attempts to put them in proper order were in vain, as you can see, but I have high hopes of more success in the future!

In related news, I've cleared out my LEA Information page and am beginning to refill it and the related individual pages for each sim. I would greatly appreciate both information on past events that occurred on those sims, as I can add the information in for the records, and information about sims as they open. I'm going to try to stay more on top of LEA in general, so that these pages can be more of a resource for people looking for information.

CHALLENGE: Avatar in a Box

Vanessa Blaylock does Challenges on Friday (yes, I know it's Sunday - I found out about it on Saturday from the lovely Strawbery Singh and it took me a while to think of my idea) and this one is based off of a rather disturbing image from Hugh Kretschmer that imagines fashion avatars dressed and ready, yet in a packing box. It took me a while to go from that image, to Strawberry's adorable packing crate of doom and cuteness, to my own rather surreal imagining. I had initially considered making it out of images on boxes, but once I put myself inside of the boxes I realized it looked rather neat that way, especially with the shadow of the box below.

Sometimes boxes can be very small, though, and other times they can be vast and yet still confining.

Ferguson

I don't know whether to weep or to burn the world down.

"But it is not enough for me to stand before you tonight and condemn riots. It would be morally irresponsible for me to do that without, at the same time, condemning the contingent, intolerable conditions that exist in our society. These conditions are the things that cause individuals to feel that they have no other alternative than to engage in violent rebellions to get attention. And I must say tonight that a riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the negro poor has worsened over the last twelve or fifteen years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice and humanity." - Martin Luther King, Jr., March 1968

Single Frame Story: Stream

The saying goes, "You never step in the same stream twice." Some of that is the stream changing as it moves - ironically not something that happens in the world of second life, where water is repeats of the same textures over and over again. The rest is how we change, though, from step to step to step.

I have a few things that are touchstones I return to over and over again, to see how I match up against them now. We know where we are in the context of where we were.

( Credits attached to the outfits here. )

Single Frame Stories: Original

"Original and Deluxe Flavor"

It's always weird trying to figure out what is the "original" Deoridhe. Deoridhe Starr, my older alt, could be considered that, but I literally only played once and then abandoned the account - only to uncover it like an artifact a couple of years ago. This is not a pictures of Deoridhe Starr, though, but rather one of my first attempts at a profile picture on Deoridhe Quandry, before I knew pretty much anything about photography. What I find the most amazing is that everything has changed - including the shape, since I've tweaked it - and yet I think it's obvious from simply seeing this image that this is an older picture of the same avatar with the same aesthetic. I also really wish, now that we have cosmetics, that I had those eyes on a cosmetics layer, because I would wear the Hel out of them.

( More single frame stories here. )

Credits:

Skin: De La Soul, Candace Creamer
Hair: Truth, Kasia
Flowers: Bliss Couture, Korin
Ears: Illusions, Seelie Ears
Eyes: De La Soul, Mesh Eye Rainbow
Eyelashes 1: SLink, Mesh Lashes
Eyelashes 2: Flugeln Brise, 05-A
Eyeshadow: Damned, Rainbow
Lipstick: Mock, Everwinter Lip Jelle
Wings: Deviance, Titania Mesh Fairy Wings
Hands: SLink, Rigged Mesh Hands
Nails: Nine Inch Nails, Butterflies
Dress: Senzafine, "Miette" Lolita Dress

Image of Me:
Hair: Sirena
Skin: Curio
Eyes: Tacky Star
Texture: Fortunas Designs

Pose: !bang, stand 178

Location: My Platform
Light Settings: AnaLutetia - studio

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

Single Frame Stories: Pot

Years ago I had a vision of walking in a field full of wildflowers and reaching out to them, only to have their roots grow through my veins, sucking me up and reforming me out of their own stuff as it gradually grew more and more difficult for me to move, until I was an enormous tree reborn out of the flowers which had consumed me. it was an odd feeling, things moving through my veins which weren't blood, but not at all painful and I still carry the sense of that vision in my bones along with a deep sense of peace, of how I and my environment influence each other as I rebuild myself through my environment, through all of the flowers which live around and within and through me - they feed on me, and I on them.

I also really love puns, though, so now I am the Wrong Kind of Pot.

( More single frame stories. )

Credits:

Skin: De La Soul, Candace Creamer
Hair: Truth, Orchid
Headflowers 1: BP, Inner Tree blue
Headflowers 2: Panda Express, Head Sprout
Headflowers 3: !bang, Clover Shamrock
Headflowers 4: Sugar, Early Morning Sprout
Headflowers 5: Sugar, Sunny Blossom Sprout
Ears: Illusions, Seelie Ears
Eyes: De La Soul, Mesh Eye Rainbow
Eyelashes 1: SLink, Mesh Lashes
Eyelashes 2: Flugeln Brise, 05-A
Eyeshadow: Boom, Mean Green Eye Paint
Wings: Deviance, Titania Mesh Fairy Wings
Jewelry: Donna Flora, Vera
Hands: SLink, Rigged Mesh Hands
Nails: Orc Inc, USA
Dress: LeeZu, CoCo Dress
Black Roses: G Field, Rose Fairy
Shoes: G Field, Flower Pumps "Eve"

Tea Set: Schadenfreude, Tako Set (Arcade Prizes)

Pose: Flowey, all that happiness

Location: My Platform
Light Settings: Rot

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

Almost Over

I was Almost On-time but Almost is Over. I'm almost inundated with almosts - almost well, almost ready, almost completely overwhelmed. Almost always silly. After a week of dragging around, getting the minimum done I can do to get by, I'm almost healthy again - thanks in large part to turning my apartment into almost a jungle, scented with camphor. I managed to visit Lost Town almost before it's going away, and I'm sunk feeling like I've missed almost all of the LEA displays because I was too busy to follow up on almost all of them. This look is almost to discordant to be attractive, but I think I carry it off; the idea came after throwing on the Lassitude & Ennui dress over my lingerie from my last look. I loved the effect, but wanted to carry it off using a different set of undergarments, and I ended up seeking out my old friend katat0nik's stylings, which were almost perfect. I meant to take the pictures ages ago, but I was almost too sick to sit up several nights, and so it dragged out longer than necessary - giving me a chance to slip in Wasabi Pills' new hair for Whore Couture, and giving me a little crow to eat. A topic brought up was personal thoughts on the Whore Couture event, and I said it wasn't my style; apparently I'm almost right - when Wasabi Pills does her hair, I almost always love it.

I think I'm almost having too much fun with using almost way too much, and I can't seem to stop! Comparing my pictures on Lost Town that have me in them, and the ones of the sim alone, I'm really struck by how you almost can't tell how enormous the elephants and circus are in Lost Town. In a few of my pictures of me, you can almost see a leg or a foot in the background, but it's almost impossible to offer a realistic representation of the awesome scale which can occur within Second Life between the avatar and the environment. It almost makes me want to go back in one of the larger mesh forms, just to do a comparison with my smaller me who usually wanders around the grid. Another thing I've really been noticing is how mesh is enabling things to be very precise and beautiful on the micro scale, as well as the macro. Increasingly, sims have these tiny details because it's become feasible to - since mesh items often have less impact on the allotted prims when they are small, suddenly detailed furnishings are more acceptable. I've almost become so used to mesh that I don't even see it's full effect anymore - but even given the ground gained in mesh, regular old prims and texture are doing well. The shoes I'm wearing are a very old set from Lassitude & Ennui, pre-mesh, and they fit perfectly with the mesh dress made years later with not appreciable different in level of skill and beauty. I think it's wonderful that some stores have managed to transcend their creative tools to make lasting, indelible beauty.

( More pictures here. )

Credits:

Skin: De la Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De La Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Eyelashes 1: SLink, Mesh Lashes
Eyelashes 2: Flugeln Brise, 04-A
Ears: Illusions, Seelie Ears
Hair: Wasabi Pills, Julia (promotional item)
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Hands: SLink, Mesh Hands
Dress 1: katat0nik, Ruff Haus
Dress 2: Lassitude & Ennui, Naiad Sundress
Shoes: Lassitude & Ennui, Skully Pumps

Pose: Glitterati

Location: Lost Town
Light Settings: In Situ
Water Settings: Glassy

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

Single Frame Stories: A Retrospective

Several weeks ago, Whiskey Monday said something which stuck with me in response to the Single Frame Stories I've been irregularly participating in:

"There is a inclination to compare our work to others. Especially when our works are practically side by side in the gallery, it would be difficult not to compare them. I’ve found that comparing my work to other art can make me feel discouraged. I see an amazing viewpoint or interpretation of the prompt and I wish I had thought of that.

"It’s important for me (and maybe for us all) to remember that this isn’t a competition. There are no winners or losers here. If we all work to the best of our abilities to create something that shows our own viewpoint, then we’ve succeeded. As a group, our galleries here are impressive and inspiring to others. Individually, each of us brings our own style and perspective, and rather than worry about measuring up to each other, we should worry about inspiring one another."

She also said, [E]ven our most frivolous, clichéd or reflexive work reflects a deep and pervasive web of subconscious stories and associations. Pretty cool, huh?"

That got me thinking about what could be seen in my own string of images, if they were held up side by side, so now and then I'll be doing a retrospective - just a list of all of the images up to a certain date - since I don't always do a post for each one. The next retrospective will pick up where this one left off.


Last Words


Illumination


Depth Perception


Objectification


In Retrospect...


Driven


Surrender


Surrender


Genius


Simple


Shot in the Dark


Critique


Humility


Fall


Secret


Black and White


Black and White


Flight


Service


Anonymous


Switch


Edge

Single Frame Stories - Humility

Where we come from, the earth we are formed and fashioned from which holds the bones and breath and blood of our ancestors, the hummus we walk upon and disregard and see so little of, terra incognita right under our feet. Humility is a loaded word, one heavy with the wine and wishes of religions, the detachment and discernment of philosophies, the tricks and trickery of removing from they who suffer the fruits of that suffering. Wherever our feet touch down, there is earth beneath. Through concrete and stone and wood and foundations, all of it lies on the earth, tied into the ground, pulled tightly to the surface of a spinning ball hurtling through space.

It is through our ancestors that we are given the benefits and responsibilities of life. They give us both gifts and burdens, and our connection to them and the honor and dishonor of family ties shapes us into who we are. Some ancestors are made through ties of blood, others through promises and will, but relative to our ancestors, to all ancestors, we know ourselves in the world.

It is important to know the texture, strength, and nature of the earth which supports us.

Voices of my People
Kate Price
(transcribed from the audio)

The voices of my people fly high on beating wings.
They sing the seasons of the moon, the thawing of the spring.
The melodies of sun danced on rise through us to the sun.
The voices of my people are one.

The dances of my people pound deep into the land,
Calling those who went before to join us hand in hand.
We call upon our ancients to guide us through the night.
The dances of my people unite.

In the darkest hour
Before the break of day.
You can hear them call,
Calling you away.

The visions of my people, illuminations clear
Beyond the dark horizon, beyond the veil of fear.
With our hearts we wander where there is no journies end.
The visions of my people ascend.

In the darkest hour
Before the break of day.
You can hear them call,
Calling you away.

( More Single Frame Stories here. )

Credits:

Skin: Fallen Gods, Onyrica
Eyes: De La Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Eyelashes: SLink, Eyelashes
Ears: Illusions, Seelie Ears
Hair: Wasabi Pills, Christy
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Dress: Evie's Closet, Ariel

Pose: Glitterati, 

Location: Isle of Amras
Light Settings: Places District8

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

Single Frame Story: Critique

I can be a little defensive when it comes to critique.

At my current job, critique is a necessary and central part of my job, but it's usually self-induced rather than other-induced. I've had jobs in the past, though, where the critique - while accurate - was so moving and disconnected that it proved entirely worthless, and having spent teenage years being compared to inaccurate and insulting descriptions of my mother (inaccurate twice over, as my mother and I have different natures, and their opinion of my mother was also inaccurate), I have sensitive nerves to misplaced and cruel critique. The gentle and loving critique of my current job is a soothing balm, but the sensitivities remain.

( More Single Frame Stories here. )

Single Frame Stories: Surrender

What I Don't Know I Know is less than What I Know I Know is less than What I Know I Don't Know is less than What I Don't Know I Don't Know. Ignorance is only bliss before you fall off the cliff edge.

You take me in, no questions asked.
You strip away the ugliness that surrounds me.

Are you an angel?
Am I already that gone?
I only hope that I won't disappoint you
When I'm down here on my knees.

Sweet Surrender is all that I have to give.
-Sarah McLachlan

( Other Single Frame Stories here. Single Frame Stories Blog Here. )

Credits: 

Skin: De La Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De La Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Ears: Illusion, Seelie Ears
Hair: Secrets Hair, Nara - Soda Pop (Promotional Item)
Eyelids: SLink, Eyelids
Lipstick: Mock, Bella Vetro Gloss - Cabaret
Jewelry: bewildebeest, Madiera
Dress: AlaFolie, Marilyn Plume
Bouquet: G Field, Rose2 Mini Bouquet
Hands: SLink, Rigged Mesh Hands (New Release)
Shoes: Felicity, Gianna Stilettos (Sales Blitz)

Pose: Glitterati

Location: Machinima Open Studio Project
Light Settings: TOR, SPECIAL Heaven
Water Settings: Mirror Water

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

Single Frame Stories: Driven

"I fell in love with the idea of human sensation, you see. I couldn't, no I couldn't give it up. And you can't imagine, you take it all for granted - it's yours by right so you never think: the pleasures of touch and taste. Your skin alone - your skin affords you such - rapture! ... To eat a peach, picked straight from the tree and warmed by the autumn sun, to bite a crisp apple - the first juice - a revelation - or to feel the sun on bare skin. Salt! Salt! ... Salt on a fresh-laid egg, boiled for four minutes, or to lick fresh, human sweat. ... Let me feel - let me go on feeling..."
- Carmody Braque from The Changeover by Margaret Mahy

This book was a random find, picked out of a fifty cent bin years ago, but even as I grow older I find solace, comfort, and challenges in its pages. These lines stood out for me starkly even years ago (on the same level as Erik's final cries in The Phantom Of the Opera from the Book: "She kissed me, right here on my forehead. She kissed me, and she did not die!") as a pure cry of the desire for connection and sensation, and the lengths people will go to in order to achieve it, as well as what they will give up having achieved it. Both Carmody Braque and Erik/The Opera Ghost are villains, barred from legitimate human sensation and connection due to their own actions, and I think that's part of what draws me to these final cries; in my heart I want to believe there is no one beyond redemption, while in my mind I know redemption is far less important than stopping those who harm from doing so.

( Other Single Frame Stories Here. )

Credits: 

Skin: De La Soul
Eyelids: Slink
Hair: Wasabi Pills
Lipstick: Mock

Single Frame Stories: Objectification

I am an idealist. One of the problems with idealists like myself, is that it becomes easy to begin to see the world as a series of problems and archetypes, instead of seeing the world made up of people who sometimes have problems and fall within archetypes. When trying to change the world, when trying to balance the unbalanced scales of justice, it's important those changes and that unbalancing doesn't come at the expense of valuing and seeing the people who are affected by those changes and the unbalancing.

( More pictures here. )

Credits: 

Skin: Fallen Gods, Onyrica - Roots (promotional item)
Ears: Illusion, Seelie Ears
Hair: Alice Project, Lola
Blindfold: Cipher, Punk Lolita Blind Veil
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Dress: Deviance, Elementalist - Rainbow
Jewelry 1: Alic Project, Autumn Leaf Earrings (Hunt Gift, Autumn Faire)
Jewelry 2: CoLLisions, Wisdom of Thoth (Libra Zodiac Event)
Shoes: G Field, Mesh Wedge Bootie "Beth"

Pose: Studio Sidhe, Libra Tribute - Justice Pose Prop (sword and scales included)

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

Single Frame Stories: Challenge 7 - Depth Perception

Suddenly [Haggard] shouted, "What is the matter with your eyes? They are full of green leaves, crowded with trees and streams and small animals. Where am I? Why can I not see myself in your eyes?" 
- The Last Unicorn, by Peter S. Beagle

Depth is such a relative thing, both literally and symbolically. What seems deep to one person can seem boringly shallow to another - but that says nothing about the relative worth of depth or shallowness; not really.

2012 Color Challenge: Week 38 - Papaya Whip

I didn't even hunt for outfits for Papaya Whip. I've been wanting to show off this amazing corset set from Rosal since I bought it, and since I bought the fatpacks of each part, I knew I could manage it. It comes in black, red, and white - and the white is tintable if you edit it; I just have to take a second to say how much I adore being able to tint white things to match a given outfit. In any case - the second I saw this set from Rosal, I was completely in love. I'm actually missing the ballet style boots, going with the stiletto heels instead. There are gloves to match, however, fully mesh, along with the neck and waist corsets. Each has stripes on them along which a flicker of glow moves regularly from and to different diodes on the corsets. It's futuristic and sleek, and I want about ten million of these gloves in various colors please! She just released some gorgeous kimono-inspired styles; if you like corsets for the waist and neck, Rosal absolutely has to be on your list of places to go.

I really struggled with pairing the corset set with other clothing - it is a mid-hip line, which means a lot of skirts won't work smoothly with it. I literally began trying different skirts of different types, finally happening onto these pieces from Bare@Rose, from her Artemis set. The pairing is perfect - unbounded and wild yet still sleek and smooth; curving out from the narrowness of neck and waist and flowing out smoothly in lean lines. I really love it as a total look; it moves as well as it photographs. Choosing the hair was equally difficult, and dictated by the corset set, but this mesh style from Alice Project was absolutely perfect. Her new hair setup is called the "infinity" set; you buy one HUD for coloring it, and then you can color up any hairstyles you want. There's an uber fatpack which is very ingeniously programmed - you select subsets to make them show up, instead of being overwhelmed by a million colors on one page. I've found myself using more tipped hairs now that I bought the fatpack; this, for example, is the blond on blond tips.

The brilliant shininess of today's pictures combined with this weeks Depth Perception theme for Single Frame Stories got me thinking about how we perceive depth. Usually, deep people are morose and solitary, quiet, and what they see into is dark and deep, often murky and full of the crueler and more horrid sides of peoples' natures. There seems to be widespread acceptance that to be honest is to be cruel and harsh, and to be deep is to be solemn and dark and say things with three or more syllables. I do find my deepest thinking seems to be in stillness, but I have a strong desire to find the depth in the brilliant things, the honesty which leads us to be kinder, the depth which is of a brilliant and shining nature rather than something dark and murky. I want to find loving and noble basic truths to human nature, and when I use words of more than three syllable, I want them to resonate with power and meaning while lightening the load of all who hear them.

( More pictures here. )

Credits: 

Skin: De La Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De la Soul, RooMee Rainbow
Ears: Illusion, Seelie Ears
Eyelashes 1: *X*plosion, PrimLashes
Eyelashes 2: Flugeln Brise, 05-A
Eyeshadow: White Widow, Dragonfly Silver
Lipstick 1: Mock, Micare LipGlimmer - Dusted Contessa
Lipstick 2: Mock, Lucir Lipcolor - Midas' Kiss
Hair: Alice Project, Momo II
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Corsets: Rosal, Viron-M White
Gloves: Rosal, Viron-M White
Top and Skirt: Bare Rose, Artemis
Boots: Rosal, Viron-M White

Poses: Glitterati

Location: Antennaria
Light Settings: Sim Default
Water Settings: TOR, Atomist

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

Single Frame Stories: Challenge 1 and 2

Single Frame Stories are a new challenge from Botgirl Questi and Whiskey Monday, inspired by Crap Mariner 100 Word Stories Challenge (which I haven't participated in yet, but I keep thinking of it). Submission deadline is Friday Night for each week's post, which goes up on Saturday, and a lot of the images are really fun and amazing. The first challenge was "Last Words," and ironically I did an afterlife hunt after the week was over... so I made a picture anyway (top). This week's challenge was "Illumination", and I'm using an old picture of mine where there were brightly glowing strawberries I got my hands on, and a wonderful chance smile and blink (bottom). I initially wasn't going to participate, but when I saw this weeks challenge and remembered some of my pictures... well, I couldn't resist. The flickr account is up, too, so you can see things in advance of the gallery posts.