So Blue Blood has new custom fishing - and believe me I'll be showing off the first outfit once I get it - so I was setting up my main Lolita alt to fish so she could have some awesome clothes. I end up on the Seven Seas sim where I can rez things and make an Oceanography Database - a must for every fisherwoman - and I'm merrily doing my thing when I'm approached by a 1 day old account in a basic mesh outfit - the short haired guy in the gray shirt. We have the following interaction in local chat - which exemplifies my complaint about these kinds of cold approaches.
I think it's fantastic to approach and talk to people. I think it's much less good to approach someone, bark orders at them, largely ignore answers, and say empty things you think they will like in the hopes they will friend/obey you. That isn't a conversation. I don't know what it is, but it isn't a conversation.
[Alt-Boy]: hi wren
Wren Lyric: Hello.
[Alt-Boy]: how are you
Wren Lyric: I'm doing pretty well. How are you?
[Alt-Boy]: good let fly some were
Wren Lyric: Why?
[Alt-Boy]: it boring
Wren Lyric: I'm not bored. I'm setting up my Oceanography Database for fishing.
[Alt-Boy]: ok you look good
Wren Lyric: Uh, thanks. You look like a default mesh avatar.
[Alt-Boy]: you to
Wren is currently dressed in a prim-heavy Cipher Lolita dress, pre-mesh, with bright curly hair I changed during this conversation to a much nicer Analog Dog hair; she is all right, but she is not particularly impressive as avatars go. Also, once again, a stranger to me ignores anything I say in favor of focusing on my appearance - something which on this alt, at least, I don't much care about yet - talk to me when I've put more time and effort into her!
Wren Lyric: No, I'm not at all mesh.
Wren Lyric: So, you're new to Second Life?
[Alt-Boy]: no
Wren Lyric: You're a day old wearing a default mesh avatar. How long have you been around?
[Alt-Boy]: shark
Wren Lyric: Jellyfish.
He types for a while. Stops. Nothing shows up in local chat.
Wren Lyric: You have to hit enter after you type in order for me to see it.
[Alt-Boy]: go to the beach
He walks away, out of chat range. He walks back.
Wren Lyric: Is that a question, a request, or an order?
[Alt-Boy]: questions
He walks out of chat range again. Back in.
Wren Lyric: Then, no, I don't wish to go to the beach.
[Alt-Boy]: ok
[Alt-Boy]: i like you how old are you
Wren Lyric: What do you like about me?
[Alt-Boy]: you are pretty and smart
Wren Lyric: I sound really generic and boring. Pretty in Second Life is easy, and I have no idea why you'd think I was smart unless you think not obeying you is smart - in which case I agree.
[Alt-Boy]: ok
He sends a friend request.
Wren Lyric: Why on earth would you want to be friends with me? I've been borderline rude this entire time we've interacted.
[Alt-Boy]: i do not care i am a nice guy
Wren Lyric: No, you really don't seem to be nice to me. Or kind.
Wren Lyric: Demanding. Uninterested in me or the world around you. Not nice, though.
He walks into me twice, pushing me, without saying anything.
Wren Lyric: That wasn't a nice thing to do.
[Alt-Boy]: ok
Wren Lyric snickers.
[Alt-Boy]: what
Wren Lyric: Worst. Apology. Ever. Definitely not a nice man.
[Alt-Boy]: i am sorry for what i did
Wren Lyric: I accept your apology.
Wren Lyric: So, how long have you been in Second Life?
[Alt-Boy]: 5 year
Wren Lyric: Wow, so this is an alt?
He types again for a while, then stops. Nothing shows up in local chat.
Wren Lyric: You have to hit enter after you type so I can see it.
[Alt-Boy]: how long have you been in second life
He flies away. I don't see he has left chat range until after I hit enter, so the following went into local chat to no one.
Wren Lyric: My main is about six or seven now, I think. I have an older alt, but I wasn't on her much. She's a couple years older.
He flew around in the air for a while, coming into chat range once but not saying anything, and then vanished - where to, I have no idea. I wrote this post while he was walking around, curious to see if he would ever want an answer to the question he asked.
I remain curious about what people who approach me like this are really hoping to get out of interacting with others. By and large, I don't approach people - once and a while I will if I like their outfit or recognize their name from somewhere, and I try to be passingly friendly to people who approach me - but how they approach me seriously gets my hackles up. The "I'm nice" claim similarly does - especially when contrasted with his actual behavior (likewise, my being pretty and smart were equally not in evidence). It just seems weirdly predatory and uninterested at the same time, and I really don't like it.
Lets contrast this with something that came in on the tail end of my time on the sim, before I headed back to Blue Blood to fish for awesome clothes; older avatar, highly unclothed and muscly, owns land on an adult sim - so the eventual goal seemed semi-obvious - but the approach was much more fun.
[Friendly Approach Dude]: hello. You know you are fishing in the sand? Trying to catch sand sharks?
Wren Lyric: They are all the rage these days. Very chic chic.
[Friendly Approach Dude]: lol....cool...hope you catch a big one
Wren Lyric: Me, too. I figured I'd open a zoo and keep it as a pet.
Wren Lyric: Could make millions!
[Friendly Approach Dude]: lol....good idea....I'll be your manager and take only 10%
[Friendly Approach Dude]: I see a shark out there...I'll swim out and see if I can catch him.
Wren Lyric: Have fun!
Wren Lyric: I'm heading back to my fishing hole, now that I'm set up.
[Friendly Approach Dude]: k...nice mtg you
Wren Lyric: Nice meeting you, too!
Now, I've no idea why the conversation needed to end because I left the sim - but that seems to be how the male half of these things work. Anyone know from the other end? It seems like it might be the illusion of availability; if I'm physically closeish to you in a sim and have no obvious exterior interests of my own does it seem more like I might eventually follow him to an adult sim? But if I have elsewhere to go, I'm less likely to? It could be a pattern recognition of women seeking sex, too, though I'd assume most of them go to adult sims. n any case, he was a pleasant few moments to re-assert my faith in humanity! Witty and entertaining, all in one.
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