Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Bewitched Beeswax


An important piece of information - outside of Second Life, I'm fat. Not chubby, not voluptuous, not big boned, not any of a thousand piddly terms for it. Fat. Comments claiming I am not, or giving diet advice, will be summarily deleted.

Today, at a meeting while I was working, a stranger shook my hand, introducing himself. He did that weird two handed shake, trapping my hand. He leaned in. He said, completely out of the blue and unsolicited, "Every woman should look like you. You're beautiful." It took me a few seconds to get my hand out of his; I left with my companion, pretty much saying nothing in response.

I found this man deeply creepy.

Part of it was the completely unsolicited and unwanted comment on my physical appearance. I don't often get that these days, and to be honest I prefer it that way. Good, bad, if we're not interacting on the level of dating I really don't care if looking at me makes your eyes bug out and your bile rise, or makes your libido inflate like a clown's poodle balloon - that's your business.

But the other part which deeply creeped me out was the implied insult toward all of the other women in the room - me being the largest. One of the nastier things used to pit women against woman is our worth publicly judged as appropriate eye candy (If you don't know what I mean, take a look at any tabloid in the grocery store. Ironically, one side effect of people realizing that Anorexia Nervosa fucking KILLS is that now women in the tabloids have about a ten pound window in which to be attractive - go above, you're a tubby fat ugly chick who shows celluloid in public (quelle horror!). Go below, and you're obviously a helpless, mentally ill child who needs to be tut tutted into eating two tubs of cottage cheese instead of one, maybe with some peaches.) One of the nastier aspects of the Big Beautiful Women movement, at least as expressed by some men and women, is a corresponding insult toward any woman who happens to be thin, slim, or even OMG skinny.

Fat, thin, I don't care. Weighing women's worth by their weight is the problem, not the number we summon when stepping on a scale.

Also, fsking creepy guy.

( More pictures here. )


Skin: De La Soul, Kei Cream
Cosmetics: De La Soul, Faerie Pastel Lips
Eyes: De La Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Ears: Illusion, Mystic Ear
Hair: Wasabi Pills, Kiki Hair - Lemon Tea
Hair Decoration: Purangi Designs, Hair Lily - orange
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle Wings
Dress: Nemesis, Monday Dress - beeswax
Necklace: Earthstones, Tree of Life - Autumn
Shoes: Deviant Designs, Beach Baby 2 - Sienna

Pose: Glitterati, JFTG Pose 1

Location: Bewitched
Light Settings: TOR, MIDDAY - Cheery
Water: TOR, Showing Age

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only


  1. Oh my god I totally get your thoughts here... I'm a fat girl too and I don't care what people think of me. I joke about my size, but I am happy in my own skin just like everyone else should be. Being driven to a disease like Annorexia just because you don't fit the media's "ideal" mould is terrible... Damn what a creepy guy!

  2. Anorexia Nervosa's a lot more about taking control where one can - with what one eats. Though it's likely it's externally applied to female celebrities - and increasingly male ones.

    And yeah... not looking forward to next week.