I went back to the Haven of Rogues and Mer Sanctuary for some more pictures and ended up wandering in completely different area - even headed into the second sim. Even tinting it pink, I ended up with some really fantastic color contrasts that really set off the gorgeous dress from Kouse's Sanctum. I don't even remember when I got this - but the color seemed perfect. Initially I was doing a color combination for the dress - drawing together Evie's Closet and Kouse's Sanctum - but the more I looked at the total look in different lights, the more dissatisfied I was with it. I ended up switching entirely over to the Kouse's Sanctum dress and really enjoying the flow of the maple leaves down the layered skirt.
The hair was a recent purchase from Majika, who is getting rid of a bunch of her older hairs for cheap. Awesome chance to pick up some excellent hair - her new stuff is even butter, but her old stuff is still worth the Linden! The hairband is color change on touch, and I love the curves of the hair; the back is very unusual and I really like the curves even though it's much shorter than my usual hairstyles! The skin is from De La Soul - violet stripe. It was one of her hunt prizes, so I'm not sure it's still available - but you can get others of the Charlie skins in her store. The collar, from Plastik, is a fantastic accessory that is full modify, which means I could multi-tint to match the different colors of purple in the dress. The bracelets are simple plastic ones from Digital Eyes - I really like how the colors are off-set from each other.
It's been a very difficult week - mostly via work, but a bit outside of it, too. One the one hand, I glory in my weekends, but on the other they bring their own kind of pressure to accomplish things, to respond to things, to listen and sympathize, two write things up and get things settled. I'm surrounded by plants these days - inside and outside - so there's some shiny watering in my future and a kitty cat to snuggle.
Gender, gender expression, sexism, and identity have been on my mind a lot recently. Despite the internet being "anonymous", being female on the internet can be a pain in the ass. Being female alone can be a pain in the ass. Patriarchal values, being rigid and inflexible, aren't good for anyone, but women are usually caught in a serious of double binds, where there is no way to win. For example - motherhood is held up as the ideal a woman can be, and single women are pressured to marry and then to become pregnant as part of fulfilling that purpose. However, once a woman is a mother she is singularly blamed for everything involved with her children, she is expected to keep them under control constantly, be ever vigilant, if anything goes wrong it is her fault, and even years later her children can blame her for all of their problems and be widely accepted as speaking the truth.
There is no win.
Likewise, women can't win in terms of protecting our own safety. If anything goes wrong - be it domestic abuse or rape - we are blamed for it. We should have seen, we should have taken extra precautions, we shouldn't have trusted the people we trusted or valued the people we valued (especially if they're male, because "you know how men are", and "boys will be boys"). However, in anything short of being beaten or raped, we need to trust the men around us, never behave as if they should hurt us, certainly never imply by word or deed that they might be a threat or might actually hit or rape us. If we take logical, rational precautions to protect ourselves we are man-hating shrews who assume all men are evil and live constantly in fear. Even if we live in fear, if we get hurt it's our fault.
Ironically, it's bad for the men, too. When they aren't incapable of controlling themselves due to being overcome by lust upon the sight of any bare female skin, they are psyching themselves up to prove to other men how masculine they are, or being portrayed as mindless forces of violence who must be protected from themselves by women. See the catch-22 for women above.
Patriarchy is bad for men. It's worse for women.
( More pictures here. )
Credits:
Skin: De La Soul, Charlie VioletStripe - Cream (with blond brows)
Eyes: De La Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Ears: Illusion, Mystic Ear
Hair: Magika, Mary Cherry - Golden Blond
Collar: Plastik, Recluse Collar - Bound
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle Wings
Bracelets: Digital Eyes, Plactic Bracelet Purple
Dress: Kouse's Sanctum, Cristina Deux - Twilight
Shoes: G Field, Bow Strap Shoes "Kate" - white
Poses: Glitterati
Location: Haven of Rogues and Mer Sanctuary
Light Settings: TOR, HORROR - Rancid Milk
Water Settings: TOR, Waterslides (tinted pink)
Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only
Omg everything you said is so true.... it's all a catch-22. One I always hated is the first question at a job interview: do you have a partner? As in, we don't want to hire you if you might get pregnant... Illegal prejudice done all the time...
ReplyDeleteBut your pictures are fab, and Haven of Rogues requests another visit in the neighboring sims!
I think that is one of the things overlooked by those who cling to tradition and the patriarchy so firmly; it's bad for people, not just women but especially them. But it also gives men a bad rep too. The whole boys will be boys thing excuses bad behavior and assumes the worst in men as well. It assumes that men can't control themselves, that they are brutish and domineering. It assumes the worst about both genders and tries to turn us on each other rather than uniting us in our shared humanity.
ReplyDeleteThe thing I hate most about the patriarchy is that it teaches us that we're some how radically different based on our sex. They speak of us as if we're different species entirely and that short changes us all.
You look gorgeous, btw, whimsical and heavenly. I seriously love reading your blog.
I have a lot of fun taking pictures there. It's good finding places with lots of different areas.
ReplyDeleteYes, I really think patriachy hurts everyone involved. I don't know what more to say about it at this point, honestly! Right now my path seems to be pointing it out, then trying to act outside of it.