Blood in the Snow

Within Second Life, it's easy to not make any significant decisions. Second Life is, in many ways, safe. Falling won't kill. Guns won't hurt. Even the words are often insulated by miles an mysteries. Offline, I spend a lot of time not being sure if my decisions are sound. I spend time doing things, then being afraid for the results. Bad things happen, and they're partially my fault, and then I blame myself. I try to do my best, and I so, so often fall far short of the goal. More and more, I'm beginning to wonder if the enormous output of energy I have on reminding myself of how much I suck is really worth it. It makes me stressed and unhappy. It's like those times as a teenager I would get a bloody nose and just watch the blood drip down onto the pure white of the porcelain basin, entranced by my own suffering. The contrast of red on white is a stark one, and one usually associated with a wound or injury. Second Life is a fangless world without actual physical wounds, but the ways in which we preset ourselves through our avatars can reflect the more subtle emotional wounds so many of us carry. Our pain and self-hatred can form themselves as bruises, or gems, or a cracked doll skin. We can reform our weaknesses into beautiful shapes and pictures, somehow redeeming pain with self-expression. The very safeness of Second Life makes it a prime place to flower free in ways we might be afraid to offline, to be honest in ways we may not offline, to relax our boundaries. The lack of consequences has it's own effects, encouraging me to rethink large aspects of my offline life in a place where it's easy and pleasant to pretend to have no cares.

I'm layered and warm in this look, starting with a curling Truth hairstyle which all  but engulfs my ears, large as they are. One thing I like about Truth's style is how it is open and loose without being too flyaway or formal. I also love the little bows, which are included and matched my outfit perfectly. My lips are a gorgeous shade of deep red from Adore & Abhor, and I was aiming for something rich and slightly dull to go with this charming cape top from Ur Favorite One. The invisi-layer is critical for this, but I quite like the effect of it overall; the hood is adorable, the collar looks soft and warm, and the length is charming. It's also quite unique, which is why I picked it up despite my usual resistance to separates. It's a little difficult to find clothing for underneath, but it works well with a knee length skirt or a pair of pants. I went for the former by layering under it one of katat0nik's latest releases, which unfortunately hides it's wonderful metal bodice but which still shows off a sweetly rigged, knee-length skirt with the simple, clear texturing that katat0nik is known for. My stockings are an old favorite - Stellar - and are a much darker color; I thought they balanced out my wings, from Deviance. I also wanted to capture some of the darker tones right before slipping into these elegant new shoes from Eclectica. I love the way the bows are done in particular; they really look like ribbon tacked on to the back. I also love the texturing - look at the rich red and soft cream, the gentle wood of the heel. It's such a simple design, and yet so lovely.

( More pictures here. )

Credits: 

Skin: Izzie's, Irene
Hair: Truth, Velvet
Ears: Illusions, Seelie Ears
Eyes: De La Soul, Rainbow
Eyelashes 1: SLink, Mesh Lashes
Eyelashes 2: Flugeln Brise, 05-A
Lipstick: Adore & Abhor, 13 Lips Earth
Wings: Deviance, Sidhe
Hands and Feet: SLink, Rigged Mesh Hands and Feet
Finger Nails: A:S:S, Glamour silk
Cape: U.F.O., Ponpon Cape Coat (Collabor88)
Dress: katat0nik, Metal Corset Dress
Stockings: Stellar, In Bloom Tights
Shoes: Eclectica, Brocade Court Shoes

Poses: Diesel Works

Location: Crash Boat
Light Settings: Phototools, rara Home Fall Light
Water Settings: Glassy

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only