Thursday, October 20, 2011

How NOT to Please a Designer - Episode 2

Strap yourselves in, ladies and gentlemen - this is a long one. I added some commentary along the way, and a few pretty pictures to break up the wall of text (credits for pictures available if you click through). I promise that though it starts slowly, the Entitled, Rude, and Shocking is totally worth sticking through it. At least, I giggled a lot.

It started out innocuous enough - even polite. Friendly, chatty - who would guess the gaping asshole depths that would soon envelope us?


[09:07] Inconsiderate Asshole: Hi miss :D
[09:08] Inconsiderate Asshole: I have a request for one of your skins
[09:08] Store Owner: Oh?
[09:08] Inconsiderate Asshole: I purchased the [Type Of] Avatar awhile ago
[09:08] Store Owner: Ah yes
[09:08] Inconsiderate Asshole: My friend wants that skin but she wants the blue to be purple
[09:08] Inconsiderate Asshole: Is it possible to change that?
[09:09] Inconsiderate Asshole: I am giving it as a gift to her
[09:09] Inconsiderate Asshole: She just wants the skin hehe
[09:10] Store Owner: Oh.. unfortunatly…. It isnt possible. The colors of the scales section was completely random for me. I wasn’t sure what color it would be on what skin until I did it.
[09:10] Inconsiderate Asshole: Could you keep trying random combos until you get it :O
[09:10] Inconsiderate Asshole: I’ll pay anything
[09:11] Store Owner: Well the thing is, i set the scales to  like.. overlay and color burn and whatnot, and the skin color below dictated the color of the scales.  I’m sorry but I dont think I can get it to work. but let me try something else that might
[09:11] Inconsiderate Asshole: ok
[09:11] Inconsiderate Asshole: Her current skin is terrible, her breast look all sunken in
[09:12] Inconsiderate Asshole: They look crushed
[09:12] Store Owner: Ew
[09:12] Inconsiderate Asshole: yeah
[09:12] Inconsiderate Asshole: So any purple skin would work
[09:12] Inconsiderate Asshole: We’d prefer black and purple
[09:12] Store Owner crosses fingers that this might work
[09:13] Store Owner: well shit
[09:13] Store Owner: It turned the whole thing purple.. BUT the scales XD
[09:13] Inconsiderate Asshole: Oh
[09:13] Inconsiderate Asshole: So
[09:13] Inconsiderate Asshole: Its like
[09:14] Inconsiderate Asshole: Blue and pirple
[09:14] Inconsiderate Asshole: purple
[09:14] Inconsiderate Asshole: Well we reallt need this and your skins are some of the best I’ve seen in awhile

Roses and Flames

Here's where things start to get weird. For some reason, [Inconsiderate Asshole] thought throwing in some random names might somehow change things. This attempt at extended nepotism was stymied by the simple fact that throwing out random names of several avatars the creator doesn't know... really won't accomplish much. I won't ever say nepotism is bad, gods know I adore the gifts I get through nepotism, but if you're trying to invoke it via proxy try to make sure it's valid.

[09:14] Inconsiderate Asshole: Also
[09:14] Inconsiderate Asshole: I am friends with [Random Avatar 1]
[09:14] Inconsiderate Asshole: A friend of yours
[09:14] Inconsiderate Asshole: Or [Random Avatar 2 Misspelled]
[09:14] Store Owner: [Random Avatar 1]?
[09:15] Inconsiderate Asshole: [Random Avatar 2 Last Name]
[09:15] Inconsiderate Asshole: [Random Avatar 2]
[09:15] Store Owner: I don’t.. know that name O_O
[09:15] Inconsiderate Asshole: She said she knew you
[09:15] Inconsiderate Asshole: [Random Avatar 2]
[09:15] Second Life: Inventory item offered
[09:15] Store Owner: not off the top of my head but I am also fighting a major headcold too lol
[09:15] Store Owner: the head is compromised XD
[09:15] Inconsiderate Asshole: Got ya
[09:15] Store Owner: but yeah thats what it looks like right now
[09:15] Inconsiderate Asshole: Is there a way to make the scales black then?
[09:16] Inconsiderate Asshole: oR DARK
[09:16] Store Owner: wait.. she LOVES purple right?
[09:16] Inconsiderate Asshole: Black/purple
[09:16] Store Owner: one second
[09:17] Store Owner: [url of image] what about that one?
[09:18] Inconsiderate Asshole: If the scales could be dark
[09:18] Inconsiderate Asshole: It’d work
[09:18] Store Owner: i can’t change the scales. Sorry
[09:18] Inconsiderate Asshole: Hmmm
[09:18] Store Owner: and wont attempt it the way I am right now.
[09:19] Inconsiderate Asshole: How did you color them before
[09:19] Inconsiderate Asshole: Just do that again
[09:19] Inconsiderate Asshole: I mean I’ll pay 3k
[09:19] Inconsiderate Asshole: Even
[09:19] Inconsiderate Asshole: And if you got blue
[09:20] Inconsiderate Asshole: You can get purple, blue is close to purple.
[09:20] Inconsiderate Asshole: I’d really love it if you could try
[09:21] Store Owner: Right now I am sick RL, and not taking comissions. I’m sorry, but I can’t/won’t do it.


Here is where things start to go south. Note for customers - in the Real World people have things called Sick Days on which they don't work. They don't work because sick people need to rest, and often do sub-par work if they try to work because they're sick. Badgering people to work when they are sick is called being an asshole, especially when the person has already been trying a few easy things without success - as in this case. Don't be an asshole.

[09:21] Inconsiderate Asshole: 10k?
[09:21] Inconsiderate Asshole: Hon I can pay anything
[09:21] Inconsiderate Asshole: I have 125k
[09:23] Inconsiderate Asshole: I am sorry your sick
[09:24] Inconsiderate Asshole: But you know I am a builder. And when a task is hard I do it anyway even if I am sick. I get stuff done cause I want to make my customers happy.

I will note that personally, I not only doubt this person is a store owner, I doubt she has worked a job at all given her ignorance of sick days. The wild price offer changes are really not helping her cause, either; she's gone from 3k to 10k to 125k in five minutes - not the sign of a healthy business mind.

[09:24] Store Owner: Would you be willing to pay the 125K for it? I would never sell it to anyone else for that price, your friend would have a completely custom avatar
[09:24] Inconsiderate Asshole: We just want the skim
[09:24] Inconsiderate Asshole: skin
[09:24] Store Owner: oh
[09:24] Inconsiderate Asshole: She has everything else
[09:25] Inconsiderate Asshole: She looks good besides the skin
[09:25] Inconsiderate Asshole: But as a builder I help my customer
[09:25] Inconsiderate Asshole: I get it done
[09:25] Inconsiderate Asshole: I do what they want
[09:25] Inconsiderate Asshole: I make what they want
[09:25] Inconsiderate Asshole: Or fix what they want me to fix
[09:25] Inconsiderate Asshole: Even if it is hard
[09:25] Inconsiderate Asshole: That is how people run a business
[09:26] Inconsiderate Asshole: Thats how people get money
[09:26] Inconsiderate Asshole: Thats how you stay in business and get customers to keep coming back to you
[09:26] Inconsiderate Asshole: If you would of done this no questions asked
[09:26] Inconsiderate Asshole: I;d of told my friends of you
[09:26] Inconsiderate Asshole: And they’d of bought your stuff
[09:26] Store Owner: I know this, but when you flat out have said that you do not take comissions at the moment, and it is clearly posted in your profile, you have the right to decline comissions.

Some creators take commissions. Some don't. Some limit what they take. Owners having standards - having limits - is appropriate and part of being a good business owner (especially when the business is part-time, so the Owner has to prioritize an offline job). Trying to convince a person that their limits are wrong through a specious guilt trip is called being an asshole. Don't be an asshole.

Falling Into Decay

[09:27] Inconsiderate Asshole: This isn’t hard though, you just need to change it and it’ll randomly select a color right?

Note this is a gross misapplication of [Store Owner's] words. Setting colors for skins in particular is often not easy; if you have to change the hue too much, often you have to change several layers of hue to make it look good, and that requires the mental energy to discern what looks good and what doesn't. This is anything but easy!

[09:27] Inconsiderate Asshole: How about this… you do this I’ll build you something, anything you want.
[09:27] Store Owner: No
[09:28] Inconsiderate Asshole: Well then I’ll make sure nobody buys anything from you again
[09:28] Inconsiderate Asshole: Terrible business
[09:30] Store Owner: One, you went from offering up 10 K… to 125K.. saying you would pay anything, SO I offered a fully custom only-she-would-have-it avatar, then you wanted just the skin. Then it changed from paying money for something to a trade and when i said no.. you threaten me. Have a nice day, I am done talking to you about this.

This is called a sum up to cut short a growing tantrum (as we'll see below, trying to stop this tantrum is no easy thing!). What comes after the sum up is called Object Lesson: How to Be an Asshole.

[09:31] Inconsiderate Asshole: You run a terrible business, you should do this no questions asked. I will pay anything but 125 for one skin is bullshit, it is a rip off and your being unfair and rude.
[09:31] Inconsiderate Asshole: 125k*

Note that [Inconsiderate Asshole] has gone from offering 125K for one skin, to saying that's a rip off. This rapidfire shifting of goalposts and the insults coupled with demands, as well as the claim that the Owner is being unfair and rude, is called being an asshole. Continuing to contact someone after they say they are done talking about someone, especially with the escalating threats below, is called being a threatening asshole. Don't be an asshole.

[09:31] Inconsiderate Asshole: You won’t get customers with how you act
[09:31] Inconsiderate Asshole: Immaturelyu
[09:31] Inconsiderate Asshole: And selfish
[09:32] Inconsiderate Asshole: How you started a business is beyond me
[09:32] Inconsiderate Asshole: You act like your 5
[09:32] Inconsiderate Asshole: Suck it up, be an adult and help a customer who is willing to pay.


Now, here is when the whole interaction goes completely off the rails. In addition to a small stream of insults, [Inconsiderate Asshole] escalates to trying to start voice calls and offering teleports to [Store Owner] because [Store Owner] is ignoring the insults.

[09:34] Second Life: [Teleport Offer] [Call]
[09:34] Inconsiderate Asshole: I will teleport you, do calls until you talk to me.
[09:35] Second Life: [Teleport Offer] [Call]
[09:37] Store Owner: Why are you trying to teleport me?
[09:38] Inconsiderate Asshole: Cause I want to talk to you
[09:39] Store Owner: You have tried that. I have tried explaining that I will not do a custom work for you. You kept pushing and when I got a bit firmer, you threw a .. well tantrum and threatened me. Why under anything sane would I want to teleport to where you are and talk about this further after I have already said I would not.

Now things become very strange - and I had to pause the first time I read this because it seemed to come out of left field. Apparently, [Inconsiderate Asshole] decided to cut and paste the discussion that preceded her contacting [Store Owner] after calling [Store Owner] Childish and Immature and claiming he runs a horrible business. At this point I'm beginning to get whiplash trying to keep track as [Inconsiderate Asshole] alternates between attempts to inspire nepotism (via someone [Store Owner] doesn't remember!) and insults.

[09:39] Inconsiderate Asshole: [2011/09/11 23:11]  Random Avatar 2: working out a personality like you described is a killer
[2011/09/11 23:12]  Inconsiderate Asshole: Lol
[2011/09/11 23:12]  Inconsiderate Asshole: XD
[2011/09/11 23:12]  Inconsiderate Asshole: I have to go though hon
[2011/09/12 16:42]  Random Avatar 2: i got bored and made a chubbeh demoness ;o
[2011/09/12 16:46]  Random Avatar 2: AND!
[2011/09/12 16:46]  Random Avatar 2: i took a look at the maker of the demoness avi…and burst out laughing ;o it’s an old friend that made these xD
[2011/09/12 16:47]  Inconsiderate Asshole: Ohhh

This is the end of [Inconsiderate Asshole]'s quote, for those trying to keep track.

[09:40] Inconsiderate Asshole: She knows you
[09:40] Inconsiderate Asshole: She bought your avatar
[09:40] Inconsiderate Asshole: And apparently talked to you about scripts
[09:40] Inconsiderate Asshole: Or something.
[09:40] Inconsiderate Asshole: She is my friend and I am not having a fit, but I am angry that you could change the scales but won’t cause your lazy.
[09:40] Inconsiderate Asshole: When you could get 10k for one skin
[09:41] Inconsiderate Asshole: But you won’t cause your lazyness gets in the way

When someone says they are sick and aren't doing commissions, it isn't laziness - it's setting an appropriate boundary. People who insult others because they have boundaries are assholes. Don't be an asshole. 

All Work and No Play

[09:41] Inconsiderate Asshole: I don’t want a custom avatar we just want the bloody skin.
[09:41] Store Owner: You want a custom skin. and I am SICK not lazy.
[09:41] Inconsiderate Asshole: You have no clue how to run a business
[09:41] Inconsiderate Asshole: Oh your sick..
[09:41] Inconsiderate Asshole: Boo hoo.. thats a lame excuse hon
[09:42] Store Owner: I said I have a severe head cold. Oh hell.. goodbye
[09:42] Inconsiderate Asshole: Sorry your sick but that is no reason why you can’t make it

At this point, when it became clear that [Inconsiderate Asshole] was incapable of respecting the boundaries of another person, [Store Owner] muted her. This is an appropriate use of muting, as well, and should have been the end of it. However... it is clear at this point that [Inconsiderate Asshole] is truly dedicated to being an asshole. Don't be [Inconsiderate Asshole].

[09:44] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: Look I am sorry it is [Third Name]
[09:44] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: [Inconsiderate Asshole]
[09:44] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: Could you do this when you feel better?
[09:44] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: I am -fine- with waiting
[09:44] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: I just want to know if you can do it something
[09:44] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: sometime*
[09:45] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: And sorry I get angry when people don’t help me

Read: When I don't get my way I throw a temper tantrum and speciously insult people.

[09:45] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: Really angry..
[09:46] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: I just want to know if you can do it sometime in the near future
[09:47] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: I am sorry
[09:48] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: Ms [Store Owner]?
[09:48] Second Life: [Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole] has given you this notecard:
Title: Ms [Store Owner], I am sorry
Contents: [BLANK]

[09:50] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: : /
[09:51] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: I just want you to help me sometime
[09:51] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: Doesn’t have to be now

Note the complete reversal, from insulting and threatening ("You have no clue how to run a business") to an almost embarrassing One-Eighty ("I am fine with waiting"). At no point, however, did [Inconsiderate Asshole] show any awareness that she was, in fact, harassing another person despite having been muted and not getting any response when she moved to a different alt.  This is called being an asshole. Don't be an asshole.

As a final note, [Store Owner] reported both accounts for Harassment, Defamation/Threatening Behavior, and Verbal Abuse. Hopefully, [Inconsiderate Asshole] will learn her lesson and be less of an asshole in the future. 

Sum Up: Don't be an asshole. 

Jareth 2.0


  1. just went from bad to worse. That store owner had the patience of a saint and then some. Good read though.