Color Challenge: Week Fifty-two - Orange

I got all dolled up in Halloween finery, much of it the result of gifts or hunts - but all of it available! The dress is the largest note - from Spyralle; it was a lovely gift as a thank you, but when I put it on, I new immediately it's what I wanted to wear for the final color of the Color Challenge - Orange. Made up of a combination of warm cinnamony-browns and rich pumpkin oranges, the fractal design that is Spyralle's signature forms a very flattering pattern on the torso. I barely had to fit the prim pieces at all - moved the skirt up a little, but anyone taller than my little fae self won't have to lift a finger. I paired it up with my newest favorite shoes from G Field in shiny orange that is perfect for this time of year.

I ended up settling on Octoberville as my picture-taking haven, celebrating the final day of October and seeking out all of the pumpkins before their carved up and made into soup! I'm not as fond of the buildings as I am of the pumpkin fields and trees; the former seems a bit off in the stonework and wood textures somehow, but taken at a distance and not as the main focus it works out. The little schoolhouse is charming, though, and I adore the pumpkin fields to get lost in, and the rolling curves of the landscape. There's some kind of hunt or mystery going on there, but I didn't manage to find out many details. I've been running around frantically trying to finish hunts before the deadline!

The skin is one of my hunt prizes, from Falln Angel Creations and the weekend Halloween hunt that has only a day to go. Azriel certainly doesn't make it easy on us, but each prize is an actual whole outfit, skin, or piece of furniture - so believe me, it's worth the work and the single Linden each brain costs! I put the skin on my accident - double clicking or something - and ended up really liking the effect; I'm normally not terribly cattish, but I might make a halfway decent calico, I think. Tinting my ears to match was a little bit of a challenge - maybe next time I should invest in some cat ears!

The jewelry is also a hunt prize, from Earthstones, though they were each fifty linden instead of free or one linden. There are some free prizes in the hunt, and the highest price is fifty - which most of them are. Like the Falln Hunt, it's a challenging hunt. I recommend wireframe and derender as two of your nearest and dearest friends. Like Falln's prizes, though, all of the Earthstones ones are well worth it; however, each prize is a mystery until you open them. I can tell you the color themes are purple, green, and orange - with orange predominating.

I'm feeling the chill of winter starting in now, and the desire to curl up and hide as the weather turns cooler, sipping my cocoa and dreaming time away. One of the nicest side effects of cooler weather is how my kitty likes to snuggle up against me when he naps, keeping my sides and lap warm. He likes my cocoa, too, but I don't let him have much; he does get some tasty tunafish when I make up my tunafish salad, and he has a real interest in ham which leads him to crawl all over me every time I make some noodles with ham (and I end up giving him large pieces - I'm such a bad mom). Halloween passes tonight; in Irish and Celtic tradition, it's the night when the veil between this world and that one is thinnest - when ghosts ride, and when the Wild Hunt begins to gather for it's winter scourge of the countryside.

I'm fonder of apple cider, pumpkin pie, and peppermint cocoa, though.

( More pictures here. )

Credits: 

Skin: Falln Angel Creations, Feline Calico Feminine (1$L Hunt Prize)
Eyes: De La Soul, Roomee - Rainbow
Eyelashes: Flugeln Brise, Eyelash 5A
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ear - Fairy
Hair: Wasabi Pills, Pompon Hair - Rye (Review Copy)
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Jewelry: Earthstones, Ti'ana Set (150$L in Hunt)
Dress: Spyralle, Candy Corn Fractal Frock (gift)
Ring 1: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger
Ring 2: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring - Bouquet
Stockings: Blacklace, Red Riding Hood Stockings
Shoes: G Field, Strap Shoes "Alex" Patent Leather - orange (gift)

Poses: Glitterati,

Location: Octoberville
Light Settings: TOR, SCIFI Cragelica

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only

For Ro-chan

Ro-chan is literally the reason I came to Second Life. We met on Gaia Online years ago, in the Religion and Morality forum, where I became quickly known for biting sarcasm, a sense of the absurd, and entirely too much time spent dressing up my little avatar. We're different in a lot of ways, but we've always gotten along, so when she lured me (back) to Second Life with promises of pretty clothing to dress my avatar with, I stumbled through the initial lag and getting used to moving around with her to guide me. She took me to my first shops, gave me 1000$L to spend (which felt like so much money!), helped me pick out my wings, my hair, and taught me about lucky chairs and camping chairs - on which I spent a lot of time in the coming months.

When I put on this outfit and tried to figure out where to take a picture, all I could think is that I looked like a pretty dolly - and so I ended up in Ro-chan's little cafe, where the sweets are, for an impromptu photoshoot that I want to dedicate to her.

Thanks for bringing me to Second Life, Ro-chan. I'm so very glad we're friends.

( More pictures here. )

Credits: 

Skin: De La Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De La Soul, Roomee - Rainbow
Eyelashes: Flugeln Brise, Eyelash 5A
Eyeliner: cheLLe, Cleo Called Black
Eyeshadow: Elymode, Coal & Red 1 w/blush
Lipstick: L.Fauna, Pink 2
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ear - Fairy
Hair: Lo Momo, Spiranthes - Blond
Hair Flower: G Field, Rose Hairpin (suede) - pink
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Necklace: Purple Moon, Roses - Vintage
Dress: Reale, Pink Romantique Dress
Ring 1: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger
Ring 2: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring - Bouquet
Stockings: Kyo Couture, Socks No. 2 - Pink
Shoes: Dilly Dolls, Bastian Boots - White & White (rigged mesh boots)

Poses: Glitterati,

Location: Ro-chan's Cafe
Light Settings: Places Sand

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only

Color Challenge: Week Fifty-one - Cream

Cream was actually easy for me - I have loads of it in my inventory - but the hard part was figuring out what to pair it with and how to accessorize. I ended up with blue highlights; my favorite bits have to be the necklace and bracelet, which I impulse-bought from Axiom in a different color and now am rapidly accumulating all the available colors. If only there were more colors! I adore the curve around the neck - it fits better than almost every necklace I've worn; it's definitely Little Boy Blue level of quality. The rings are two I've been wearing for a while - from Alchemy Immortalis and Earthstones. One is a Nesting ring; it's scripted to hold images in it of people you love. I'd had plans for the pictures in there, but as of now it's empty, waiting for a special someone. In a way, it's a promise to myself. The other is a tri-rose ring that was the first time I spent money on jewelry; I loved the colors, the symbolism of three roses, the purity of three.

The hair is from one of my newest, favorite hair stores - the .b sidebrand of Analog Dog - and is one of the dual hair designs that hit the grid a few months back. The shoulder pieces are separate from the hair, which allows them to remain in place even when the head moves. This is a glory for picture taking; often long hair really limits the poses in play and with dual-piece hair it widens the opportunities a lot. The flower bits are from a new-to-me store called BP; they're free gifts in the foyer of the store - look for little stacks of boxes. The dress is from Hal Hina and I own it in every color. It's a gorgeous little floof of a dress, all froth and flowers, and really seemed to fit the rest of the theme.

I love the ephemeral quality of the roses now at World's End - how they seem to mingle and intermix with each other. It's easy to get lost within them, to sink in, and amazingly they only somewhat seem to interfere with my wings - in a way which makes it seem like I'm always rising up out of the bushes - born out of them like a flower that then floats on the waves toward the horizon.

( More pictures here. )

Credits: 

Skin: De La Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De La Soul, Roomee - Rainbow
Eyelashes: Flugeln Brise, Eyelash 5A
Eyeliner: cheLLe, Cleo Called Black
Eyeshadow: Elymode, Coal & Blue 2
Lipstick: L.Fauna, Neutral 3
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ear - Fairy
Hair: .b, Tangled - Cornsilk
Flower Effects: BP, Inner Tree & New Spring 3
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Dress: Hal Hina, Flower Mini Dress - Cream
Gloves, MRS, Cream Mesh Gloves
Jewelry: Axiom, Transmigration of Souls
Ring 1: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger
Ring 2: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring - Bouquet
Stockings: Vetra Messing, Sheer Stockings
Shoes: G Field, Flower Pumps "Eve" - cream

Pose: Glitterati

Location: World's End
Light Settings: TOR, SCIFI Cranche

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only

Pumpkins in the House of Grey Shadows

Fall colors are so pretty and subdued; highlighted by a bit of pastel glow, and it just seems to invite curling up by a window with a warm cup of cocoa to enjoy the season. This dress from Evie's Closet - one of my favorite of her fairy-style dresses - is the perfect thing to wear when flitting around the carnival or playing nine pins with the stones. I ended up picking up a new hairstyle from Shag, too - it has the cutest little hairsticks in it; I'm really in love. It's full mod, so I was able to move bits of hair from out of my big fairy ears - always a plus! I accented my look with a set of bracelets from Spyralle which I really love - based off of fractals, the colors simply seem to glow - and they're on sale for the weekend, at least - for once I managed to post about a deal before it ended! I hope! It's in a lot of different colors, so go! Go! Jump on it!

I'm beginning to feel like a grown-up fashion blogger - one of the posts coming up will get into detail on that - but I still want to remember why I started doing this to begin with; to celebrate the beauty of Second Life, the beauty I can make through a combination of the creations of others - wafted high on the wings and winds of talented people.

( More pictures here. )

Credits:

Skin: De La Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De La Soul, Roomee - Rainbow
Eyelashes: Flugeln Brise, Eyelash 5A
Eyeliner: cheLLe, Cleo Called Black
Eyeshadow: Elymode, Autumn Leaf Mix
Lipstick: L.Fauna, Neutral 2
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ear - Fairy
Hair: Shag, Thai Me Up
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Dress, Stockings, Shoes: Evie's Closet, Eden - Fall Edition 2
Ring 1: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger
Ring 2: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring - Bouquet

Pose: Glitterati, Pin up 2

Location: Pyri Funfair
Light Settings: Abracadabra2

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only

How NOT to Please a Designer - Episode 2

Strap yourselves in, ladies and gentlemen - this is a long one. I added some commentary along the way, and a few pretty pictures to break up the wall of text (credits for pictures available if you click through). I promise that though it starts slowly, the Entitled, Rude, and Shocking is totally worth sticking through it. At least, I giggled a lot.

It started out innocuous enough - even polite. Friendly, chatty - who would guess the gaping asshole depths that would soon envelope us?

[09:07] Inconsiderate Asshole: Hi miss :D
[09:08] Inconsiderate Asshole: I have a request for one of your skins
[09:08] Store Owner: Oh?
[09:08] Inconsiderate Asshole: I purchased the [Type Of] Avatar awhile ago
[09:08] Store Owner: Ah yes
[09:08] Inconsiderate Asshole: My friend wants that skin but she wants the blue to be purple
[09:08] Inconsiderate Asshole: Is it possible to change that?
[09:09] Inconsiderate Asshole: I am giving it as a gift to her
[09:09] Inconsiderate Asshole: She just wants the skin hehe
[09:10] Store Owner: Oh.. unfortunatly…. It isnt possible. The colors of the scales section was completely random for me. I wasn’t sure what color it would be on what skin until I did it.
[09:10] Inconsiderate Asshole: Could you keep trying random combos until you get it :O
[09:10] Inconsiderate Asshole: I’ll pay anything
[09:11] Store Owner: Well the thing is, i set the scales to  like.. overlay and color burn and whatnot, and the skin color below dictated the color of the scales.  I’m sorry but I dont think I can get it to work. but let me try something else that might
[09:11] Inconsiderate Asshole: ok
[09:11] Inconsiderate Asshole: Her current skin is terrible, her breast look all sunken in
[09:12] Inconsiderate Asshole: They look crushed
[09:12] Store Owner: Ew
[09:12] Inconsiderate Asshole: yeah
[09:12] Inconsiderate Asshole: So any purple skin would work
[09:12] Inconsiderate Asshole: We’d prefer black and purple
[09:12] Store Owner crosses fingers that this might work
[09:13] Store Owner: well shit
[09:13] Store Owner: It turned the whole thing purple.. BUT the scales XD
[09:13] Inconsiderate Asshole: Oh
[09:13] Inconsiderate Asshole: So
[09:13] Inconsiderate Asshole: Its like
[09:14] Inconsiderate Asshole: Blue and pirple
[09:14] Inconsiderate Asshole: purple
[09:14] Inconsiderate Asshole: Well we reallt need this and your skins are some of the best I’ve seen in awhile

Here's where things start to get weird. For some reason, [Inconsiderate Asshole] thought throwing in some random names might somehow change things. This attempt at extended nepotism was stymied by the simple fact that throwing out random names of several avatars the creator doesn't know... really won't accomplish much. I won't ever say nepotism is bad, gods know I adore the gifts I get through nepotism, but if you're trying to invoke it via proxy try to make sure it's valid.

[09:14] Inconsiderate Asshole: Also
[09:14] Inconsiderate Asshole: I am friends with [Random Avatar 1]
[09:14] Inconsiderate Asshole: A friend of yours
[09:14] Inconsiderate Asshole: Or [Random Avatar 2 Misspelled]
[09:14] Store Owner: [Random Avatar 1]?
[09:15] Inconsiderate Asshole: [Random Avatar 2 Last Name]
[09:15] Inconsiderate Asshole: [Random Avatar 2]
[09:15] Store Owner: I don’t.. know that name O_O
[09:15] Inconsiderate Asshole: She said she knew you
[09:15] Inconsiderate Asshole: [Random Avatar 2]
[09:15] Second Life: Inventory item offered
[09:15] Store Owner: not off the top of my head but I am also fighting a major headcold too lol
[09:15] Store Owner: the head is compromised XD
[09:15] Inconsiderate Asshole: Got ya
[09:15] Store Owner: but yeah thats what it looks like right now
[09:15] Inconsiderate Asshole: Is there a way to make the scales black then?
[09:16] Inconsiderate Asshole: oR DARK
[09:16] Store Owner: wait.. she LOVES purple right?
[09:16] Inconsiderate Asshole: Black/purple
[09:16] Store Owner: one second
[09:17] Store Owner: [url of image] what about that one?
[09:18] Inconsiderate Asshole: If the scales could be dark
[09:18] Inconsiderate Asshole: It’d work
[09:18] Store Owner: i can’t change the scales. Sorry
[09:18] Inconsiderate Asshole: Hmmm
[09:18] Store Owner: and wont attempt it the way I am right now.
[09:19] Inconsiderate Asshole: How did you color them before
[09:19] Inconsiderate Asshole: Just do that again
[09:19] Inconsiderate Asshole: I mean I’ll pay 3k
[09:19] Inconsiderate Asshole: Even
[09:19] Inconsiderate Asshole: And if you got blue
[09:20] Inconsiderate Asshole: You can get purple, blue is close to purple.
[09:20] Inconsiderate Asshole: I’d really love it if you could try
[09:21] Store Owner: Right now I am sick RL, and not taking comissions. I’m sorry, but I can’t/won’t do it.

Here is where things start to go south. Note for customers - in the Real World people have things called Sick Days on which they don't work. They don't work because sick people need to rest, and often do sub-par work if they try to work because they're sick. Badgering people to work when they are sick is called being an asshole, especially when the person has already been trying a few easy things without success - as in this case. Don't be an asshole.

[09:21] Inconsiderate Asshole: 10k?
[09:21] Inconsiderate Asshole: Hon I can pay anything
[09:21] Inconsiderate Asshole: I have 125k
[09:23] Inconsiderate Asshole: I am sorry your sick
[09:24] Inconsiderate Asshole: But you know I am a builder. And when a task is hard I do it anyway even if I am sick. I get stuff done cause I want to make my customers happy.

I will note that personally, I not only doubt this person is a store owner, I doubt she has worked a job at all given her ignorance of sick days. The wild price offer changes are really not helping her cause, either; she's gone from 3k to 10k to 125k in five minutes - not the sign of a healthy business mind.

[09:24] Store Owner: Would you be willing to pay the 125K for it? I would never sell it to anyone else for that price, your friend would have a completely custom avatar
[09:24] Inconsiderate Asshole: We just want the skim
[09:24] Inconsiderate Asshole: skin
[09:24] Store Owner: oh
[09:24] Inconsiderate Asshole: She has everything else
[09:25] Inconsiderate Asshole: She looks good besides the skin
[09:25] Inconsiderate Asshole: But as a builder I help my customer
[09:25] Inconsiderate Asshole: I get it done
[09:25] Inconsiderate Asshole: I do what they want
[09:25] Inconsiderate Asshole: I make what they want
[09:25] Inconsiderate Asshole: Or fix what they want me to fix
[09:25] Inconsiderate Asshole: Even if it is hard
[09:25] Inconsiderate Asshole: That is how people run a business
[09:26] Inconsiderate Asshole: Thats how people get money
[09:26] Inconsiderate Asshole: Thats how you stay in business and get customers to keep coming back to you
[09:26] Inconsiderate Asshole: If you would of done this no questions asked
[09:26] Inconsiderate Asshole: I;d of told my friends of you
[09:26] Inconsiderate Asshole: And they’d of bought your stuff
[09:26] Store Owner: I know this, but when you flat out have said that you do not take comissions at the moment, and it is clearly posted in your profile, you have the right to decline comissions.

Some creators take commissions. Some don't. Some limit what they take. Owners having standards - having limits - is appropriate and part of being a good business owner (especially when the business is part-time, so the Owner has to prioritize an offline job). Trying to convince a person that their limits are wrong through a specious guilt trip is called being an asshole. Don't be an asshole.

[09:27] Inconsiderate Asshole: This isn’t hard though, you just need to change it and it’ll randomly select a color right?

Note this is a gross misapplication of [Store Owner's] words. Setting colors for skins in particular is often not easy; if you have to change the hue too much, often you have to change several layers of hue to make it look good, and that requires the mental energy to discern what looks good and what doesn't. This is anything but easy!

[09:27] Inconsiderate Asshole: How about this… you do this I’ll build you something, anything you want.
[09:27] Store Owner: No
[09:28] Inconsiderate Asshole: Well then I’ll make sure nobody buys anything from you again
[09:28] Inconsiderate Asshole: Terrible business
[09:30] Store Owner: One, you went from offering up 10 K… to 125K.. saying you would pay anything, SO I offered a fully custom only-she-would-have-it avatar, then you wanted just the skin. Then it changed from paying money for something to a trade and when i said no.. you threaten me. Have a nice day, I am done talking to you about this.

This is called a sum up to cut short a growing tantrum (as we'll see below, trying to stop this tantrum is no easy thing!). What comes after the sum up is called Object Lesson: How to Be an Asshole.

[09:31] Inconsiderate Asshole: You run a terrible business, you should do this no questions asked. I will pay anything but 125 for one skin is bullshit, it is a rip off and your being unfair and rude.
[09:31] Inconsiderate Asshole: 125k*

Note that [Inconsiderate Asshole] has gone from offering 125K for one skin, to saying that's a rip off. This rapidfire shifting of goalposts and the insults coupled with demands, as well as the claim that the Owner is being unfair and rude, is called being an asshole. Continuing to contact someone after they say they are done talking about someone, especially with the escalating threats below, is called being a threatening asshole. Don't be an asshole.

[09:31] Inconsiderate Asshole: You won’t get customers with how you act
[09:31] Inconsiderate Asshole: Immaturelyu
[09:31] Inconsiderate Asshole: And selfish
[09:32] Inconsiderate Asshole: How you started a business is beyond me
[09:32] Inconsiderate Asshole: You act like your 5
[09:32] Inconsiderate Asshole: Suck it up, be an adult and help a customer who is willing to pay.

Now, here is when the whole interaction goes completely off the rails. In addition to a small stream of insults, [Inconsiderate Asshole] escalates to trying to start voice calls and offering teleports to [Store Owner] because [Store Owner] is ignoring the insults.

[09:34] Second Life: [Teleport Offer] [Call]
[09:34] Inconsiderate Asshole: I will teleport you, do calls until you talk to me.
[09:35] Second Life: [Teleport Offer] [Call]
[09:37] Store Owner: Why are you trying to teleport me?
[09:38] Inconsiderate Asshole: Cause I want to talk to you
[09:39] Store Owner: You have tried that. I have tried explaining that I will not do a custom work for you. You kept pushing and when I got a bit firmer, you threw a .. well tantrum and threatened me. Why under anything sane would I want to teleport to where you are and talk about this further after I have already said I would not.

Now things become very strange - and I had to pause the first time I read this because it seemed to come out of left field. Apparently, [Inconsiderate Asshole] decided to cut and paste the discussion that preceded her contacting [Store Owner] after calling [Store Owner] Childish and Immature and claiming he runs a horrible business. At this point I'm beginning to get whiplash trying to keep track as [Inconsiderate Asshole] alternates between attempts to inspire nepotism (via someone [Store Owner] doesn't remember!) and insults.

[09:39] Inconsiderate Asshole: [2011/09/11 23:11]  Random Avatar 2: working out a personality like you described is a killer
[2011/09/11 23:12]  Inconsiderate Asshole: Lol
[2011/09/11 23:12]  Inconsiderate Asshole: XD
[2011/09/11 23:12]  Inconsiderate Asshole: I have to go though hon
[2011/09/12 16:42]  Random Avatar 2: i got bored and made a chubbeh demoness ;o
[2011/09/12 16:46]  Random Avatar 2: AND!
[2011/09/12 16:46]  Random Avatar 2: i took a look at the maker of the demoness avi…and burst out laughing ;o it’s an old friend that made these xD
[2011/09/12 16:47]  Inconsiderate Asshole: Ohhh

This is the end of [Inconsiderate Asshole]'s quote, for those trying to keep track.

[09:40] Inconsiderate Asshole: She knows you
[09:40] Inconsiderate Asshole: She bought your avatar
[09:40] Inconsiderate Asshole: And apparently talked to you about scripts
[09:40] Inconsiderate Asshole: Or something.
[09:40] Inconsiderate Asshole: She is my friend and I am not having a fit, but I am angry that you could change the scales but won’t cause your lazy.
[09:40] Inconsiderate Asshole: When you could get 10k for one skin
[09:41] Inconsiderate Asshole: But you won’t cause your lazyness gets in the way

When someone says they are sick and aren't doing commissions, it isn't laziness - it's setting an appropriate boundary. People who insult others because they have boundaries are assholes. Don't be an asshole. 

[09:41] Inconsiderate Asshole: I don’t want a custom avatar we just want the bloody skin.
[09:41] Store Owner: You want a custom skin. and I am SICK not lazy.
[09:41] Inconsiderate Asshole: You have no clue how to run a business
[09:41] Inconsiderate Asshole: Oh your sick..
[09:41] Inconsiderate Asshole: Boo hoo.. thats a lame excuse hon
[09:42] Store Owner: I said I have a severe head cold. Oh hell.. goodbye
[09:42] Inconsiderate Asshole: Sorry your sick but that is no reason why you can’t make it

At this point, when it became clear that [Inconsiderate Asshole] was incapable of respecting the boundaries of another person, [Store Owner] muted her. This is an appropriate use of muting, as well, and should have been the end of it. However... it is clear at this point that [Inconsiderate Asshole] is truly dedicated to being an asshole. Don't be [Inconsiderate Asshole].

[09:44] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: Look I am sorry it is [Third Name]
[09:44] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: [Inconsiderate Asshole]
[09:44] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: Could you do this when you feel better?
[09:44] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: I am -fine- with waiting
[09:44] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: I just want to know if you can do it something
[09:44] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: sometime*
[09:45] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: And sorry I get angry when people don’t help me

Read: When I don't get my way I throw a temper tantrum and speciously insult people.

[09:45] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: Really angry..
[09:46] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: I just want to know if you can do it sometime in the near future
[09:47] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: I am sorry
[09:48] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: Ms [Store Owner]?
[09:48] Second Life: [Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole] has given you this notecard:
Title: Ms [Store Owner], I am sorry
Contents: [BLANK]

[09:50] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: : /
[09:51] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: I just want you to help me sometime
[09:51] Alt of Inconsiderate Asshole: Doesn’t have to be now

Note the complete reversal, from insulting and threatening ("You have no clue how to run a business") to an almost embarrassing One-Eighty ("I am fine with waiting"). At no point, however, did [Inconsiderate Asshole] show any awareness that she was, in fact, harassing another person despite having been muted and not getting any response when she moved to a different alt.  This is called being an asshole. Don't be an asshole.

As a final note, [Store Owner] reported both accounts for Harassment, Defamation/Threatening Behavior, and Verbal Abuse. Hopefully, [Inconsiderate Asshole] will learn her lesson and be less of an asshole in the future. 

Sum Up: Don't be an asshole. 

Murky Days

The tunic is a new release from De La Soul, and I have good information that a color will be available next Tuesday for 25$L Tuesday - total deal! It comes with a set of leggings I'm not wearing, and it'll hang longer on someone else - I ended up lifting the bottom of the tunic up to make it hit mid-thigh. The sleeves fit with no modification at all, and the collar was an easy drop - all of the prim pieces come fitted for men or women, which is a real blessing. There are also gloves, which give the outfit it's name - archer gloves for the twanging of bows.

It's hard to tell the difference between proper shame, and the tormenting we give ourselves in order to stop our growth and progression. Sometimes trying to figure it out seems like picking my way through murky waters, trying to avoid hidden undercurrents.

Or I'm just over-dramatizing.

( More pictures here. )

Credits: 

Skin: De La Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De La Soul, Roomee - Rainbow
Eyelashes: Flugeln Brise, Eyelash 5A
Eyeliner: Adam n Eve, Hepsut
Eyeshadow: Elymode, coal & purple
Lipstick: Mock, Micare - lip 2
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ear - Fairy
Hair: Shag, Thai Me Up - caramel
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Tunic: De La Soul, Archer Tunic - Brown & Berry (promotional gift)
Ring 1: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger
Ring 2: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring - Bouquet
Stockings: G Field, Ruffle Socks - plum
Boots: G Field, Open Boots "Vilda" - brown tinted

Poses: Glitterati

Location: Zain Ruins
Light Settings: Anna's Many Murders
Water Settings: TOR, You're In Luck

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only

How Not To Ask A Stranger to Change Her Nature in Second Life

So I'm in a public place in Second Life with easily fifteen to twenty other people, most of those within hearing range. And below me pops up a "Naughty & Nice Titler: Anyone may set Attention Seeker's title on /3".

I don't like those titlers, honestly. I find them annoying, spammy, and unnecessarily mechanical; the whole schtick of naughty and nice, the implication of something coy and sexual in places where it's really not appropriate, the demands placed on complete strangers in public, not to mention the spamming effect (and these often 'scold' people when it isn't reset as well). So I do what I usually do - I type "/3 I'm attention seeking". I was in a fairly good mood, so I didn't type in my actual usual, "I am an attention whore."

In open chat I hear:

[20:46] Attention Seeker: ~Thank yyouuuuuuu~
[20:46] Attention Seeker: for the title!!!!!
[20:46] Attention Seeker: Luv it
[20:46] Attention Seeker: Now mind yor own business

I honestly saw that as being the end of it. I never actually even looked at her, or opened her profile.
A little under an hour later, my IMs pop open; I'm leaving the timestamps in for a sense of the full effect. I initially assumed she was the guy hitting on me by comparing me to a Beer Garden picture (too boring to make it here), but it turned out I was wrong. Instead it was the attention seeker. objecting to me calling her.. attention seeking.

[21:25]  Attention Seeker: Hi hi.... A bit earlier you gave me a title that was not very nice....... I was wondering if you would conseider being a bit more considerate of what you put into a titler.....
[21:26]  Deoridhe Quandry: No. ^.^
[21:26]  Attention Seeker: It really bummed me out what you put up there
[21:26]  Deoridhe Quandry: You have a titler on, spamming people in public.
[21:26]  Deoridhe Quandry: I could have been a lot more rude. ^.^
[21:27]  Attention Seeker: I am sorry whenever I TP away from home I do not go into my inventory to remember to take off the titler
[21:27]  Deoridhe Quandry shrugs. "Not my problem. You're wearing it in public."
[21:27]  Attention Seeker: If you dont like it I would prefer you not put it ontop of my head
[21:27]  Deoridhe Quandry: If you take it off, I can't put anything on top of your head. Now please go away.
[21:28]  Attention Seeker: I was not doing anything to harm anyone else.... I was not even talking
[21:28]  Attention Seeker: I do not appreciate such rudeness
[21:28]  Deoridhe Quandry: You put on something allowing strangers to title you.
[21:28]  Attention Seeker: I am not appreciative and I just wanted to let you know
[21:28]  Deoridhe Quandry: I don't appreciate the rudness of you trying to guilt trip me. Please go away.

And she did.

Credits:

Skin: De La Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De La Soul, Roomee - Rainbow
Eyelashes: Flugeln Brise, Eyelash 5A
Eyeliner: Adam n Eve, Hepsut
Eyeshadow: cheLLe, Tropical (Blue / Teal)
Lipstick:
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ear - Fairy
Hair: !lamb, Wild Nothing
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Necklace: Little Boy Blue, Luxo Necklace - small
Dress and Shoes: Falln Angel Creations, Hecate Dress Purple (with boots and broom)
Ring 1: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger
Ring 2: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring - Bouquet

Pose: In Situ

Location: .XIV Evanesce
Light Settings: TOR, MIDDAY Rebranded Skies
Water Settings: TOR, Crosshatched Plans

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only

Science of Light

There's definitely a theme with watery, flowery places. Most of them have at least once church,, at least one carousal, and probably a piano and/or cello. .XIV is a gorgeous place, though, with a high flying style and a delicate use of light to make everything seem to glow. I especially like the butterflies all over the place, especially those I could position myself strategically near and snap a picture. I have a soft-spot for butterflies.

The dress is a gorgeous group gift from The White Armory, which was released oh.... a while ago. This is why I mostly fail as a purely fashion blogger; things go into my inventory, come out later and get photographed, but trying to stick close to dates is always a bit of a trial to me! I much prefer something more spontaneous and fluid, something which responds to the moment and my mood rather than being brought in purely from the outside. I'm part of the group for The White Armory, and so I try to pick up the weekly group gift. I'm a very different shape from the standard - much shorter and much rounder - so a good chunk of what I pick up doesn't fit me. I'm always thrilled when I find one of her dresses I can wear, since they're gorgeous, and this one is particularly strikingly gorgeous. The sleeve caps are a perfect finish to an exquisite design, and I was able to fit it very easily since they were modify-ok. Go Go Modify-Ok!

The necklace is from Little Boy Blue, and it's one I've worn for loads of outfits because it had a perfect curve around the neck. It comes in short (worn above), long, and double strand - the last of which is what I usually wear the most. I love the shape of the beads combined with the spacers - it's completely unique.

There's something amazingly ephemeral which has been a guiding force in Second Life, but sometimes I wonder if it's not just that quality of ephemera which can make Second Life - and the internet in general - such a draw away from offline pursuits. It's so much more fun to dress up and pose myself in gorgeous areas than to do my dishes - and that's a real danger. Dishes need to be done, rooms need to be cleaned, clothing needs to be laundered - and having a world where none of that matters, where no dust ever accumulates, is alluring.The lure of places where there are prizes for everything - of positive feedback immediately upon every small action - is also alluring; sometimes it seems like all kinds of accomplishments pass unnoticed even by me, and I struggle to drive myself forward into action when I mostly just want to hide in a world of dreams.

( More pictures here. )

Credits:

Skin: De La Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De La Soul, Roomee - Rainbow
Eyelashes: Flugeln Brise, Eyelash 5A
Eyeliner: Adam n Eve, Hepsut
Eyeshadow: cheLLe, Tropical (Blue / Teal)
Lipstick:
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ear - Fairy
Hair: Exile, Lady Versailles - Goldrush
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Necklace: Little Boy Blue, Luxo Necklace - small
Dress: The White Armory, Moonlight Dance
Ring 1: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger
Ring 2: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring - Bouquet
Shoes: G Field, Ribbon Slingback Shoes - navy

Poses: Glitterati

Location: .XIV Evanesce
Light Settings: TOR, MIDDAY Rebranded Skies
Water Settings: TOR, Crosshatched Plans

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
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Highlight / Lowlight

The Path has opened up as a multilayered exploration of themes begun by one artist and then continued with others. I found myself entirely taken away by it; I ended up getting fascinated by the effect of a bright, posterizing windlight and took a few pictures, but I'm pretty sure I'll be back multiple times to explore around the variety and take some pictures that show off the view a bit more than these did.

( More pictures here. )

Credits: 

Skin: De La Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De La Soul, Roomee - Rainbow
Eyelashes: Flugeln Brise, Eyelash 5A
Eyeliner: Adam n Eve, Hepsut
Eyeshadow: cheLLe, Tropical (Yellow/Pink)
Lipstick: L.Fauna, Lipstick - Neutral 3
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ear - Fairy
Hair: Truth, Eden - golden
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Dress: Blue Blood, Dollheart Whitegoth Pink
Ring 1: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger
Ring 2: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring - Bouquet
Shoes: G Field, Flower Pumps "Eve"

Pose: Long Awkward Pose, Diva

Location: The Path - Bryn Oh's Room
Light Settings: TOR, EUPHORIA air polution
Water Settings: TOR, Trandshan

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only

Color Challenge: Week Fifty - Mulberry

We're coming to the end of the challenge, and I'm feeling a bit sad about it, to be honest. I ended up in a shiny, Mulberry dress and a scary, mulberry sim for Halloween. I'm not a big horror and gore fan, but Halloween seemed to call for it.

Ever been unable to think of a thing to say?

Yeah.

( More pictures here. )

Credits:

Skin: De La Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De La Soul, Roomee - Rainbow
Eyelashes: Flugeln Brise, Eyelash 5A
Eyeliner: Adam n Eve, Hepsut
Lipstick: L.Fauna, Lipstick - Pink 2
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ear - Fairy
Hair: Wasabi Pills, Juliette Hair - Jellyfish
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Dress: Icing, Mulberry Cordial
Jewelry: Beloved, Pearls and Ribbons
Ring 1: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger
Ring 2: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring - Bouquet
Shoes: G Field, Knot Wedge - Pink

Pose: Glitterati, 109

Location: Mulberry Orphanage
Light Settings: TOR HORROR Rancid Milk
Water Settings: TOR Trandshan

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only

Family Drifts

Bryn Oh has a new art display called Family Unit which I'm still grappling with in terms of how it relates to, well... family units. My own thoughts about family units are confused, mixed up between chosen and assigned families, and wanted and unwanted families. I'm not quick to call someone family, and in a way I'm all too familiar with the asymmetrical affection often found and displayed online - much like the asymmetrical affection between famous people and less famous ones. I've had cases where I felt very close to someone, where it turned out they could simply stop talking to me without much thinking about it, and even maintaining that speaking often wasn't important. Other times, I've had people assume a level of right to impede or influence my life when I think of them as little more than a vague acquaintance, if not a virtual stranger.

Offline, I have people who are genetically very close to me who I haven't spoken to in years, and people who I don't speak to often but when we do it's as if no time at all has passed, and people I speak to regularly.

Family is a confusing thing, but I'm glad I have it.

( More pictures here. )

Credits:

Skin: De La Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De La Soul, Roomee - Rainbow
Eyelashes: Flugeln Brise, Eyelash 5A
Eyeliner: Adam n Eve, Hepsut
Lipstick: L.Fauna, Lipstick - Red 2
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ear - Fairy
Hair: Secret Hair, Helena - Platinum
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Dress: Likka House, Faded Rose
Jewelry: G Field, Pearl Set "Blossom"
Ring 1: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger
Ring 2: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring - Bouquet
Shoes: G Field, Lady Rose - Offwhite

Pose: Glitterati, Long Hair 5

Location: Family Unit by Bryn Oh
Light Settings: TOR SCIFI Railingz 1
Water Settings: TOR Trandshan

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only

Dreams Come Alive

Through the Lens of Dreams is a new sim put out by Madcow Cosmos and Lorin Tone, much in the style of Peaster's Castle - a rounded, organic curve to everything which is quite unique in my experience. The other thing, which quickly becomes apparent, is that the entire sim exists in a frozen flash of the fourth dimension - that is, as you move around the sim, you follow the various paths of different things which transform over time and yet exist simultaneously.

The images are at once sublime and thought-provoking - everything from walnuts which become ships to war between two races who part ways at the corner. From the ridiculous, to the charming, to the sobering - I found around every corner a moment of delight. There seem to be new things under every level and around every curve - even flying up into the sky there were new things seemingly created for delight alone. It's an incredibly complex build, and I am not exaggerating when I say pictures, any pictures, any number of pictures do not do it justice. Only by wandering around and watching how things shift into other things, see the sly little hints of humor, will you fully be able to appreciate what they've created.

( The outfit is an oldie but goodie from Blue Blood; normally I don't go for shorts outfits, but the curve of the short bottoms on this are absolutely delightfully charming. )

( More pictures here. )

Credits:


,Skin: De La Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De La Soul, Roomee - Rainbow
Eyelashes: Flugeln Brise, Eyelash 5A
Eyeshadow: Elymode, Cole & Magenta
Lipstick: Mock, Micare LipGlimmer - Flirtatious Kobi
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ear - Fairy
Hair: Majika, Noise
Wreath: Evie's Closet, Wreath of Flowers
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Outfit: Blue Blood, Amelia - pink
Ring 1: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger
Ring 2: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring - Bouquet
Stockings: Violent Seduction, Lingerie Masquarade
Shoes: G Field, Strap Shoes "Alex" - berry

Poses: Glitterati

Location: Through the Lens of Dreams
Light Settings: Places Cromac
Water Settings: TOR Pretty Placid

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only

Living Tree

Fallen Gods has a photo contest of images in their skins, and I hunted through my inventory and lurked in the store for a bit, and emerged as... well... a tree.

There are things. They are growing on me!

I supplemented with a little Falln Angels Creations and emerged suitable for G Rated Sims.

Now I have to decide which to put in...

( More pictures here. )

Credits:

Avatar: Fallen Gods, Arborial Sapling
Eyes: Fallen Gods, Glowing Eyes - Teal
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ear - Fairy
Hair: Wasabi Pills, Ryoko Hai - Grass (tinted)
Necklace: Fallen Gods, Elemental Choker
Stone Markings: Fallen Gods, Opalescence tattoo
Hand Markings: Fallen Gods, Elemental Glowing Electric
Wings: Falln Angel Creations, Vines Wings Aqua
Silks: Falln Angel Creations, Bibelot Silks - aqua
Ring 1: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger
Ring 2: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring - Bouquet

Pose: Glitterati, 104

Location: Cadair Braeden
Light Settings: Places Pathfinder
Water Settings: TOR, Glaznost

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only

A Warm, Cubby Glow

I love running across things randomly that you had been looking for and had been unable to find; this hair from 69 falls under that purview. Though I had some problem fitting it (damn you, no-mod hair!), a hairbase covered over some of the gaps and I adore the scarf detailing woven through the hair. The dress from katat0nik is no longer available, but Cubby dresses in pink and orange are at 4.44.444 until the event passes!

( More pictures here. )

Credits:

Skin: Adam n Eve Skins, Ariadne - Cool Orchid (promotional item)
Eyes: De La Soul, Roomee - Rainbow
Eye Shadow:
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ear - Fairy
Hair: 69, Olivia 03 - Gold Blonde
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Dress: katat0nik, Cubby Dress - sky/white
Ring 1: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger
Ring 2: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring - Bouquet
Shoes: G Field, Square-toe Shoes "Sophia" - white

Pose: Glitterati, Long Hair 3 - 9

Location: Elonia
Light Settings: TOR, SCIFI Wild Palms
Water Settings: Glassy

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only

Color Challenge: Week Fourty-nine - Wenge

Wenge honestly makes me think of the word whinge - best defined as the word used by upper class Brits to make their whining sound somehow categorically different from the whining of everyone else. In honor of this thoroughly fascinating word, permit me a moment to whinge - despite my neither being upper class nor British.

The gorgeous headpiece I'm wearing almost wasn't. I remembered seeing it, or something like it, on one of the fashion feeds as a deal, but I hadn't picked it up for several reasons, including that I don't often wear skulls. When I was putting together this outfit, I felt the desperate need for a small skull with some kind of black thing behind it; I remembered the skull as vaguely bird-like. I went to the first place for searching for things in Second Life - the marketplace - and was frustrated by the fact you can't search within subcategories.

After six 96-item pages of accessories and about five searches with additional keywords to try to narrow the field, I started asking in groups - one fashion-oriented and the other goth-oriented. No dice. I went back through about two months worth of discount reviews. No dice. Finally, I did a broad search through a search engine, found a mention of this on one of the blogs along with it being a 1$L deal at some event. It even included the store name - Ripe. Yahtzee! Plugged Ripe into inner-SL search (I prefer to purchase in sim if I can, so the Linden-tax isn't applied). Three places popped up - teleported to each.... no ...dice? Went back to the blog post - the person had included the creator name! Yahtzee! Opened up the profile, looked in picks... no dice. Looked in classifieds. No dice. Checked webpage.... and it led me back to the marketplace.

WTF, Second Life?

On a more pleasant note, I'm decked out in clothing from one of my favorite people, jewelry from the second, and a skin from the third, which makes me a very happy Deoridhe. The dress is from Falln Angel Creations and it was one of my dresses in my "photograph before sorting" folder - that lives in my inventory and accumulates clothes. I've been trying to go there first when I'm looking for things to wear because, well, it would be nice if things in there got sorted! The jewelry is from Little Boy Blue, and was part of a massive Linden-drop into his random vendors last Halloween. If we're lucky (unlucky?) he'll put them out again and I'll be even poorer this year! As it is, I managed to accumulate most of the Sugar Skull set, and I adore it so much! It reminded me of these awesome set of horns from Rue, that were from a Sugar Skull Hunt a couple years back - I'm delighted to have a chance to wear them again. The skin is my usual lovely one from De La Soul, and this time I tinted my Illusions ears to match a bit more closely.

The eyeliner is my usual Adam n Eve Hepsut, and I've paired it with one of Elymode's hunt specials - autumn eyeshadow. I'm really enjoying her fades of color for eyeshadow, especially since I can often match them up to my outfit or mood. The lipstick from L.Fauna is another new favorite. I was drawn to it when I saw it at the 50 Linden Friday special, but I'm definitely planning to go back for some more lipstick. The colors are sublime, and the match to my lip line is perfect, even though it's a completely different maker. Finally, I have to take a moment for a word about the new hair from Calico Ingmann Creations. I love the curves and style of it (there's also a version with longer hair) and I had a ball playing with the streak colors - I made the streak white then manually recolored the hair to match my Sugar Skull Accessories.

I ended up back on Immersiva, which has to be one of my favorite regular haunts. Ms. Oh brought the skeletons and dandilions she had at Anna's Many Murders and festoon them across a mountainous scene with some bones thrown in to make things interesting. The black box with it's changing, glowing interior has also reprised here from another show, and the tower from Daughter of Gears is still in place to climb up. My only wish might be for some ways to sit on top of the different dandelions - but then I always like to insinuate myself into the drama created by other people.

( More pictures here. )

Credits:

Skin: De la Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De La Soul, Roomee - Rainbow
Eye Shadow: Elymode, Autumn Leaf Mix
Eyeliner: Adam n Eve, Hepsut
Lipstick: L.Fauna, Red 3
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ear - Fairy
Horns: Ruin, Horned S.E. Sugar Skull Shaman - Ivory
Hair: Calico Ingmann Creations, Genevieve 1
Hair Skull: Ripe, Elegant Raven Skull Hat - black
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Necklace 2: Little Boy Blue, Sugar Skull Set
Dress: Falln Angel Creations, Fellice Dress - brown
Ring 1: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger
Ring 2: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring - Bouquet
Shoes: Lassitude & Ennui, Skully Pumps - black

Poses: Glitterati

Location: Immersiva
Light Settings: London 2026
Water Settings: TOR, Eyeballin'

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only

Beside Myself

Recently, I managed to recover the password of my original Deoridhe account, made almost two years before my main one. This brings up an interesting thing for me in terms of self-identity; I have made other Deoridhe's (one placeholder when lastnames went, and the others because I really liked the last names) but they never felt quite like "me" in the way that Deoridhe Starr does, even while I'm logged on Deoridhe Quandry.

This may get confusing, fast.

I had an amusing time of trying to get some of the same lucky board things on both accounts - teleporting each other around to different Ds to double up on the goodness. Finally, I decided I needed to do a photoshoot - largely with the things from the stores already crowding the grid with delightful Halloween outfits. The hair on Quandry was a sort of sideways lucky board find; I saw a girl wearing it while I was stalking a lucky board, and found a new and awesome hair store - Heart Softens - one of a long list of largely Japanese stores which I'm utterly enamored with despite not having the foggiest idea what they're saying. Luckily, Lindens speak universally in Second Life.

Honey Kitty and +NK+ are two more lovely stores that I'm totally in love with. I shamelessly stalked the +NK+ lucky board, collecting the dresses on both of them - but Starr, being the poor alt without much money or history - is the one showing it off. On Quandry is one of the newest Honey Kitty dresses which gave me the cards from the Fall Stamp Event that outfitted poor Starr with her bouncy, cheerful AO - which you obviously can't see, but which I've been really enjoying. My one big purchase on Starr was her shoes - I totally splurged to get her the "Alex" shoes from G Field which were just released. With the straps having multiple options, it was really a fantastic investment for matching to future outfits and well worth picking up the fat pack!

It was fun juxtaposing Starr and Quandry in pictures, both with the same shape, but with different skins and hair. The style is the same, the personality the same, but doubled up somehow. Starr is perhaps a bit looser, due to her being mostly equipped with freebies, but I rather like the effect of myself times two. That's one interesting thing about virtual existences - you can have them meet up with each other, and while you are inhabiting both, you also are both. With most of my alternate accounts, different facets of my personality emerge - some sweeter, some kinder, some more frisky, some sad and gloomy. Deoridhe is always closest to myself; my Mary Sue when I roleplay and my analog for myself when I'm not in character. In the past I've had Deoiridhe and Deoridhe at once, but never before have two Deoridhe's met.

I think we'll get along.

Credits: 

Deoridhe Quandry:
Skin: De la Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De La Soul, Roomee - Rainbow
Eye Shadow: De La Soul, Simple Rainbow
Eyeliner: Adam n Eve, Hepsut
Lipstick: Mock, Bella Vetro Gloss - Lepore Red
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ear - Fairy
Hair: Heart Softens, Macy - Honey
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Dress: Honey Kitty, Cards of Cutie - orange
Stockings: Honey Kitty, Diamond Tights - black and gold
Ring 1: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger
Ring 2: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring - Bouquet
Shoes: G Field, Strap Shoes "Alex" - suede rust

Deoridhe Starr:
Skin: Cupcakes, Snow - Red Brows
Lipstick: Cupcakes, Charm Snow-Gloss-Violet
Hair: +NK+, Kitten Hair Limited Color
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Kira Grande Wings
Dress: +NK+, Witch
Shoes: G Field, Strap Shoes "Alex" - patent orange

Poses: Glitterati and Long Awkward Pose

Location: The Dare!
Light Settings: TOR, SCIFI Railingz
Water Settings: TOR, Freak-A-Dermia

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only

Language Connects and Divides

 *Trigger warning for the use of a racial slur near the end.

One of my favorite TED talks is by Erin McKean about lexicography, language, and dictionaries. One of the points she makes is that due to the dictionary's limited size, people have long made arbitrary choices about what words are "real" and what words are not. I have no argument with her rationals, and I love watching her talk about language with such enthusiasm, but having watched people talk for a long time, and been both inside of and outside of groups, I have an additional perspective on the reasons for determinism in language - that is, of why people want to police language.

The word Shibboleth is used in a story about differentiating between groups; if you pronounce shibboleth one way, you are in this group, and if you pronounce it another way, you are in a different group. Shibboleth as a noun has come to indicate some use of language which determines what group or groups a person belongs to; it indicates the use of language as a gatekeeper.

When I was first a case manager, I had an office mate with one very obvious difference from me, and likely a host of less obvious differences; we were different races. I am white, and she is black. Otherwise, our backgrounds seemed similar - both middle class, both with a background in psychology - and by and large our language use reflected those similarities. I will never forget her once telling me a story about her friends, though, and referencing in passing that something was very 'phat.' This was a couple of years before the word hit the media (and near as I can tell ceased to be used within any subcultures) and I was baffled by hearing it as an adjective - assuming she meant fat. She said a funny thing, then, when I expressed my confusion: "I forgot you weren't one of us."

The interaction stuck with me because it suggested something very fluid about group inclusion and exclusion. I don't think I'm overstating to say that "phat" as an adjective came out of a specific black subculture, spread within that subculture, spread to the media, and then went out of use - thus following the life cycle of any shibboleth which becomes generalized. However, my friend's inclusion of myself in her group, as one of 'us', despite my not being black nor part of the subculture phat seemed to move within (which was Hip Hop, I believe) suggests that inclusion is often less about concrete characteristics, and more about relationships.

By contrast, my high school best friend once passively allowed me to be excluded from a group she was involved with due to a feeling that she was unable to invite me in, despite technically being part of the group. It also said something about our relationship as well, and her view of me, that my being excluded by her new circle of friends was understandable and reasonable, instead of a deal breaker for her. Once again, the line of inclusion and exclusion went not along the lines of concrete characteristics (we were all white, middle class, and geeky) but rather the relationships in play and who is willing to fight for the presence of those they have relationships with to be included.

Some of the words people often want excluded from dictionaries are slurs. The reasoning is usually one of distaste - the words are "bad" words and thus shouldn't be included - but I wonder sometimes if it isn't because slurs are a more effective shibboleth when they are undefined. The use of nigger (This is a hard word for me to type, which says more about my colorblind white liberal upbringing than the word itself) by US black comedians was complicated because the relationship of black people to the word nigger was much more complicated than the relationship of white people. Early comedy often drew lines between the "good" black people and the "ignorant" niggers - replicating within the US media black culture (to differentiate from the non-media driven cultures - keep in mind it was white people writing the checks, often, so to claim this use is solely black is ignoring reality) the same dichotomy between so called good black people and so called bad black people.

Later comedy is closer to what is called reclaiming - that is using a slur as a positive word in order to partially remove the power it has. One critical piece of that is that the slur has to be used positively in order to be reclaimed (no, white gay men, using bitch to refer to other men is not reclaiming, it's expanding the slur with an additional misogynistic sprinkles). Nigga, usually spelled that way, was a term of fellowship and friendship between black men, but still carried a lot of it's negative connotation on non-black lips and could be a shibboleth both indicating when the relationships between blacks and not-blacks was strong enough for the term to use, and also an indication of when a white person was trying to hard to be included as if they were not white.

The final pieces I've seen, from my limited view as a white woman, was the use of nigger and the negative characteristics that come with it in a complicated and complex way, primarily by Dave Chapelle (who ended up leaving the media in part because the unexpected trend among whites was to normalize using nigger, instead of unnpacking the complicated role the word still plays between white and black people). His short skit, "The Nigger Family" was about a white family with the last name of Nigger in the Fifties. The humor came from the instinctive reaction to negative characteristics historically applied to black people and slaves being applied to an average white family in the fifties. My favorite part was near the end, when Chapelle as the milk man (literally delivering whiteness and dressed in white) comes into the kitchen; he cheerfully insults the family, saying things like, 'I know better than to get in between a Nigger and his pork,' and getting perfectly placid responses from the family because nigger simply holds no sting when applied to white people. His glee as the leveling of the ground, though - at the right to point out that characteristics traditionally used as indications blacks were inferior also exist for whites (who doesn't like chicken, watermelon, and strawberry soda?) - is absolutely engaging. That skit in particular walks right along a fault line which I feel within US culture, one which makes me laugh but also makes me uncomfortable.

Words carry power; those who deny this frequently also object to being insulted which is a particularly immediate indication of hypocrisy. Part of the power of words, though, is how we use them and how intentional we are in our use of them. The people who came up to Chapelle when he was out with his family and used the word nigger because they thought his thoughtful skits had provided permission profoundly misunderstood the case, as did everyone who asks the question, 'Why is it ok when one of THEM uses it?' Language, the words one uses, who is using the words, and the relationships between people can be incredibly fraught with emotions, which is a powerful force behind wanting to police language. I am, in fact, one of those police in general discourse; I speak up when slurs are used, object when I believe I see racist or sexist speech - however thoughtless. I don't, however, want to remove slurs from a dictionary, nor do I think they are "bad" words per se. The negative thing is the attitudes and beliefs which go along with the words, not the words themselves, and those attitudes and beliefs need to be challenged no matter how many times the words used change.

( More pictures here. )

Credits:

Skin: De la Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De La Soul, Roomee - Rainbow
Eye Shadow: De La Soul, Simple Rainbow
Eyeliner: Adam n Eve, Hepsut
Lipstick: Mock, Bella Vetro Gloss - Lepore Red
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ear - Fairy
Hair: Wasabi Pills, Chloe Hair - Crystal Blue
Jewelry: Kyccie's, Sweetheart Set - Amethyst
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Dress: katat0nik, Cubby Dress - pink/white
Ring 1: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger
Ring 2: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring - Bouquet
Shoes: Dilly Dolls, Bastian Birthday Boots

Pose: Glitterati

Location: Dragonfly
Light Settings: Places Wiccan
Water Settings: Placida brite

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only

Color Challenge: Week Forty-eight - Moss

Moss Week was surprisingly easy, though I'm not sure all of the "moss" colors quite match! They have a similar olivey hue, though, so I suppose they'll do. I got the sense of being cool and chill and all covered over with moss when I put on these colors. I've always liked the darker shades of green; they seem so cool and remind me of spring, when the colors are as bright as possible and the skies are a brilliant shade of blue. The wilder sections of The Looking Glass were perfect for pictures, and I ended up finding a gorgeous crystal cave behind the vines concealing the entrance.

It's interesting to compare the different mosses. Grix is the palest - a green bandaid on my nose in the color of moss, but sort of a greyish pale moss that might be found near lichen. They almost exactly match the pale green pearls in the necklace from Eclectica, set in silver which makes them seem to glow. These lovely boots from G Field are slightly darker and duller in shade; they match the hue of sun-touched moss near the edges of shade. The ribbed tights from Sn@tch are only slightly darker and keep that sheen of dullness to them which leaves them in line with the boots. The dress from DV8, by contrast, is a darker yet richer color, like the moss found along the edge of cold streams in the springtime - rich and vibrant in hue with shadows nearing black. The eyeshadow is olive, but contains all the darker hues in it, and my moss eyes from Miriel finish the look out in almost continuous named colors (I'm only lacking moss colored hair, substituting in Magika's green hair instead).

It's amazing how much similarity can be found across a broad spectrum of stores and styles. DV8 and Sn@tch are on the gritty, urban side of things, while Eclectica tends toward stylized and sleek, with a touch of whimsy from Grix. Many of these stores are long time favorites that I wear over and over again, but some - like Grix - are entirely new to me. The cosmetics from De La Soul, by the way, are on sale right now at the 25 Linden Tuesdays Fete that's going on until this upcoming Tuesday.

I'm playing a secondary game, now, called Glitch. It has fun details, like you milk butterflies and then shake the milk to make butterfly butter (the world needs more butterfly butter), get grain by squeezing chickens, and get eggs from egg trees. It's one giant world that everyone plays in, and according to the creators our actions can change the world itself - making it more complex and broader. In a lot of ways, it reminds me of a simpler version of Second Life; in Glitch you're working off of pre-set options and in Second Life the imagination and skill are the limit, but in both of them the world made is shaped by the people within it. We decide if we seek beauty or ugliness. We decide if the world is one of kindness or cruelty. We shape the world and build it up between us like a glittering span of imagination and creation that reflects the best and worst of humanity all in one.

( More pictures here. )

Credits:

Skin: De la Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyebrows: De La Soul, Aestali Tintable Brows
Eyes: Miriel, Mossy Rock
Eye Shadow: De La Soul, Gemini Makeup - Olive Roots
Bandaid: Grix, Opps - Moss
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ear - Fairy
Hair: Magika, Luxury - Wild Green
Jewelry: Eclectica, Spring Pearls - Moss
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Dress: DV8, Danse Macabre - Moss
Ring 1: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger
Ring 2: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring - Bouquet
Stockings: Sn@tch, Ribbed nit Tights - Moss
Shoes: G Field, Short Lace-Up Boots - Moss

Poses: Glitterati

Location: The Looking Glass
Light Settings: TOR, EUPHORIA - Natural High
Water Settings: TOR, Meridian verde

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only