Monday Meme: The Winter Season Challenge

Strawberry has a Wintery Meme for us this month, with some wintery questions. Ironically, I had taken wintery pictures and already blogged about them, so I decided to pull out some old wintery pictures - and there were fewer than you might think. Apparently, I don't go to many winter sims, and when I do I rarely dress appropriately. I had such fun answering these questions, and really look forward to reading everyone elses. Winter is such a striking season - not the spring I adore, but stark and pure and murderous.

1. What is the December/Winter season like where you live? – I now live in one of those seasonless places, but I grew up with seasons and went to school in upstate New York, where winter takes over for half the year. One of the things I love about where I live now is that my birthday month, February, is actually a pleasant month to live during; everywhere else I've lived, it's been horrid - neither the shiny puffiness of snow, nor the warmth of spring. I do sometimes miss snow, but most of my missing of it is a dream of childhood; snow is much less fun when one has to still go to work.


2. When you think of winter, what’s the first thing that pops into your head? – My first year of college. Halfway through November, about four feet landed on he ground all but overnight. Various people across the school built things out of snow, and there they remained until the thawing in March. I had known lessar snows - six inches or a foot - but this was my first time meeting Snow in all of it's power. Secondarily, I think of one of the ice storms of my High School years. Everything was covered by half an inch of ice, and the whole area was just shut down for days at a time. There were brown-outs going on all over, so I ended up starting a fire in the living room and keeping it going into the evening to keep that area of the house warm. It was the first time I ever appreciated why fire has been so powerful through most of history; it's relatively recently that heat was a matter of turning a dial instead of a great deal of physical labor.


3. Have you ever played any extreme winter sports? – Not at all. I'm a hopeless skier, a halfway decent skater, and mostly made snowpeople when I played in the snow.


4. What do you like most about this season? – I love the effect of the snow and ice on the landscape. It looks so gorgeous - the pure white blanketing everything with the gleam of transparent ice on branches and grass. I used to be transfixed by it, it was so lovely; somehow pure and frozen all at once.


5. Do you celebrate Christmas, Hannukkah, Kwanzaa or another holiday during this time of year? –I personally celebrate Yule, as I'm Asatru. I like to do an offering of alcohol to the Disir on the first night of Yule, Mothernights, and I've always dreamed of doing the full twelve days, with offerings to each of the Halls in Asgardhr, but I've never managed to pull together the research and time I need to do so. Really, I should start in January and take a month to set up each night, so by the time it's next December I'm ready. With my family, I celebrate a non-religious Christmas, as the rest of the family is culturally Christian but effectively metaphysical, agnostic, or atheist. We do stockings on Christmas morning, and presents in the afternoon, and an afternoon of time spent together, eating, and good fun. We also have a very impressive tree, with ornaments that go back generations and honor our Danish ancestry.

( More pictures here. )

Advent of the Holidays

'Tis the season of giving, and getting, and an awful lot of Advent events start the first of December. FabFree has a lovely list of them, but personally I keep a folder of links for east of transport, and to weed out the places which don't suit my style as well. This year I want to try to open advent gifts each day, instead of having them build up, and I even managed to add a few to this look I'd been slowly building around Bare Rose's Bremen Players hunt prize from ages ago. Bare Rose does the best hunts, though I always seem to be missing them despite being in their group; I like the stories as much as I like the outfit one assembles at the end. This dress is a combination of unrigged mesh and flexible prims to make a simply stunning gown; it came with Lola appliers included, and I dearly hope that sooner or later they will include SLink appliers as well. I had to play a bit fast and loose to keep my SLink hands on without an applier, though; I paired lace gloves from Adam n Eve with a copy of the ribbon Bare Rose used at the upper arm to top off the gloves in order to cover the band of flesh where the Adam n Eve gloves ended and the SLink hand ended. I think it's actually fairly seamless from most angles, and the ending effect might be better than simply having glove ends.

My hair was shamelessly poached from a dear friend of mine and is a new release from LCKY, a new-to-me store which re-opened recently. I completely fell it love with it and had to have it the second I saw it; the shape, the flow, it's all so fun and unique. It's rigged mesh, of course, and moves pretty well overall, though the shoulder pieces have a tendency to go through the shoulder depending on the pose. Definitely a store I'll be checking out in the future, though, and they have a couple of men's hairs as well as another woman's hair besides this one. My earrings are day one of Virtual Impressions' Advent Calendar, and I simply love them. The bow is almost offensively shiny, just like actual Christmas ribbons, and I love how the bow is echoed at the earlobe itself. My necklace is actually the packaging for Ginza's Advent Calendar, and quite as enjoyable to wear as the lovely earrings in blue and pink which are contained within it. I love thoughtful packaging, and this one is like getting an extra trinket as well. My poses are from !bang and show the smooth simplicity of her poses off well; I especially like the slight sway to a lot of her poses, which make them look less rigid and posed than the common model types of poses. The lovely place where I took these pictures is hosting another Advent, a slightly more complicated one than the usual. You have to hunt around Sway for little gold stars which have fallen to the ground to give us all notecards with a password, one each for each day of the Advent and each giving a new prize. They are usually charming little items for your home, and this is one of the advents I've been doing for years simply because it's fun.

( More pictures here. )

Credits: 

Skin: Izzie's, Irenel
Hair: LCKY, Drugs
Ears: Illusions, Seelie Ears
Earrings: Virtual Impressions, Advent Gift 1
Eyes: De La Soul, Rainbow
Eyelashes 1: SLink, Mesh Lashes
Eyelashes 2: Flugeln Brise, 05-A
Wings: Deviance, Sidhe
Necklace: Ginza Jewelry, Advent Cage 1st
Hands and Feet: SLink, Rigged Mesh Hands and Feet
Gloves: Adam n Eve, Lace Gloves
Dress: Bare Rose, Bremen Hunt Gift
Shoes: SLink, Hera Wrap Heel

Poses: !bang

Location: SwayLand
Light Settings: Phototools, Meni Light 1
Water Settings: Glassy

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

Herr Drosselmeyer's Doll

Herr Drosselmeyer's doll

There she is on the stage

Spinning as she sprawls

Thank God the curtains fall

Her spring is sprung

And dance is done

Spinning as she sprawls

Thank God the curtains fall

In the morning, he twists the key quite hard

And ticking, she's brought to a boil

"Relevée, my sweet, en pointe, en garde!"

Her innards twang as they uncoil

Herr Doktor's fingertips trace by

On craquelature from every fall

The daylight made to race quite by

With paint and paste and stitch and awl

"Patience, patient bumblebee,

Soon your audience will admire

A shapely arabesque or three

I'll wind you up, you'll never tire."

Starry tutu, sullen moue

A frozen carmine mouth

Twinkles as she jerks and swoons

The lady's ushered out

Gentlemen, this fallen angel is the illegitimate daughter of art and science. A modern marvel of engineering, clockworks elevated to the very natural process which even now sets your blood racing and your eyes flashing at such irreproachable beauty. Here is Gaia, here is Eve, here is Lilith, and I stand before you as her father. Sprung fully-formed from my brow, dewy and sweet; she can be yours and yours again, for her flesh is the incorruptible pale--the excuse from the wages of sin!

And as the sackcloth, sodden, slumps

Beneath these chipped and china limbs

The sour flesh pines, grunts, and thumps

"Step right up, boys, tuppence for a spin!"

by Abney Park

( More pictures here. )

Credits: 

Skin: Izzie's, Irene
Cracks: Souzou Eien, Broken China Doll
Hair: Wasabi Pills, Gloria
Crown & Rings: Paper Moon, Electric Liberity
Ears: Illusions, Seelie Ears
Earrings: Eclectica, Manhattan
Right Eye: De La Soul, Rainbow
Left Eye: Rue, Elemental Snow
Eyelashes 1: SLink, Mesh Lashes
Eyelashes 2: Flugeln Brise, 05-A
Lipstick: Heartsick, Crimson Lips
Wings: Deviance, Sidhe
Key: Eclectic Randomness, Bronze Key
Necklace: G Field, Key Necklace
Hands and Feet: SLink, Rigged Mesh Hands and Feet
Finger Nails: A:S:S, Luster
Dress: katat0nik, Metal Corset Dress
Shoes: SLink, Hera Wrap Heel

Pose: Glitterati

Location: Mythopoeia
Light Settings: Phototools, Epi Vintage Light
Water Settings: Glassy

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

Blood in the Snow

Within Second Life, it's easy to not make any significant decisions. Second Life is, in many ways, safe. Falling won't kill. Guns won't hurt. Even the words are often insulated by miles an mysteries. Offline, I spend a lot of time not being sure if my decisions are sound. I spend time doing things, then being afraid for the results. Bad things happen, and they're partially my fault, and then I blame myself. I try to do my best, and I so, so often fall far short of the goal. More and more, I'm beginning to wonder if the enormous output of energy I have on reminding myself of how much I suck is really worth it. It makes me stressed and unhappy. It's like those times as a teenager I would get a bloody nose and just watch the blood drip down onto the pure white of the porcelain basin, entranced by my own suffering. The contrast of red on white is a stark one, and one usually associated with a wound or injury. Second Life is a fangless world without actual physical wounds, but the ways in which we preset ourselves through our avatars can reflect the more subtle emotional wounds so many of us carry. Our pain and self-hatred can form themselves as bruises, or gems, or a cracked doll skin. We can reform our weaknesses into beautiful shapes and pictures, somehow redeeming pain with self-expression. The very safeness of Second Life makes it a prime place to flower free in ways we might be afraid to offline, to be honest in ways we may not offline, to relax our boundaries. The lack of consequences has it's own effects, encouraging me to rethink large aspects of my offline life in a place where it's easy and pleasant to pretend to have no cares.

I'm layered and warm in this look, starting with a curling Truth hairstyle which all  but engulfs my ears, large as they are. One thing I like about Truth's style is how it is open and loose without being too flyaway or formal. I also love the little bows, which are included and matched my outfit perfectly. My lips are a gorgeous shade of deep red from Adore & Abhor, and I was aiming for something rich and slightly dull to go with this charming cape top from Ur Favorite One. The invisi-layer is critical for this, but I quite like the effect of it overall; the hood is adorable, the collar looks soft and warm, and the length is charming. It's also quite unique, which is why I picked it up despite my usual resistance to separates. It's a little difficult to find clothing for underneath, but it works well with a knee length skirt or a pair of pants. I went for the former by layering under it one of katat0nik's latest releases, which unfortunately hides it's wonderful metal bodice but which still shows off a sweetly rigged, knee-length skirt with the simple, clear texturing that katat0nik is known for. My stockings are an old favorite - Stellar - and are a much darker color; I thought they balanced out my wings, from Deviance. I also wanted to capture some of the darker tones right before slipping into these elegant new shoes from Eclectica. I love the way the bows are done in particular; they really look like ribbon tacked on to the back. I also love the texturing - look at the rich red and soft cream, the gentle wood of the heel. It's such a simple design, and yet so lovely.

( More pictures here. )

Credits: 

Skin: Izzie's, Irene
Hair: Truth, Velvet
Ears: Illusions, Seelie Ears
Eyes: De La Soul, Rainbow
Eyelashes 1: SLink, Mesh Lashes
Eyelashes 2: Flugeln Brise, 05-A
Lipstick: Adore & Abhor, 13 Lips Earth
Wings: Deviance, Sidhe
Hands and Feet: SLink, Rigged Mesh Hands and Feet
Finger Nails: A:S:S, Glamour silk
Cape: U.F.O., Ponpon Cape Coat (Collabor88)
Dress: katat0nik, Metal Corset Dress
Stockings: Stellar, In Bloom Tights
Shoes: Eclectica, Brocade Court Shoes

Poses: Diesel Works

Location: Crash Boat
Light Settings: Phototools, rara Home Fall Light
Water Settings: Glassy

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

Monday Meme: The Geeky Meme

There is a certain irony in Strawberry making this meme a geeky meme about what we think is geeky, since I just started practicing writing in Circular Gallifreyan, one of the Alphabets of the Timelords based off of the recent series of Dr. Who, over the last couple of days. Circular Gallifreyan as I'm learning it isn't a language; it is more a cipher - meaning with a couple exceptions (y and c), one is simply reproducing English letters in a new form. I started where a lot of people start with a new cypher, especially one as gorgeous as this one - with my name and the names of people I spend the most time with, so at the top we have my name (Deoridhe Grimsdottir), and below we have Charlie and Rowan, two of my closest friends. A few steps into the process, I realized how easy it was to color these black and white shapes, and proceeded to do so according to what made sense for me, with the open spaces of consonants the background color while the vowels and the circle the consonants are cut out of are color two different colors or fades. Rainbows were obvious for me, and I tried to match the coloration to each person whose name I was making, trying to capture some of their personality in what appears to be abstract art.

Doctor Who was my first fandom (arguably my second; it's difficult to figure out if I was playing with My Little Ponies first, or watching Doctor Who), and was my fandom before we really had the concept of fandoms. The first episode I remember watching was Doctor 5 in The Caves of Androzani, peeking over the back of a couch because I was supposed to be in bed. I still remember being terrified at the changes to Peri's face, and how much I wanted to have watched it from the beginning. Doctor 4 is really "my" Doctor, though; the goofy curly haired man I grew up with. When he was exchanged for Doctor 5 I was outraged and upset, and I didn't grow to like Doctor 5 until years later when I rewatched the series without the same emotional attachments I had had; I still love Doctor 4 best, but I grew to appreciate Doctor 5's subtle humor, and while I still really dislike Doctor 6, when he began I loved Doctor 7 dearly and I was willing to accept subsequent Doctors without the same fire of partiality that drove me when I was a child and a teenager. I still prefer the pacing and story development of the earlier style of season, but I accept that the current style as well - Doctor Who has always been a reflection of our current times, and so it's imperfect as all things are imperfect, but I love the world it created which fired my imagination for so long.

1. What do you consider yourself to be? Geek? Nerd? Dork? None of the above? All of the above? – I'm probably closest to a Geek. I was always too socially savvy to be a Nerd, though I was friends with Nerds, and I lived comfortably in the Nerd / Geek / Freak nexus that existed in my High School. I played tabletop Roleplaying Games, I own a gaming console, and I was the "expert" in my circle of friends for a video game (though I came to video games late), which I think all qualifies me. I watched Doctor Who, and Star Trek, played Magic: The Gathering briefly, and now spend a lot of my time in a video game called Second Life. I wasn't the computer person when I was a teenager - my brother and I parceled those roles out parsimoniously - but college introduced me to the wider internet and web; I was on BBSes for years, used to program on MOOs, made a web page with a clickable graphic in the 90s, actually made friends through the internet, and now write on a blog.


2. What was the first computer you ever owned? – We had a Commodore 64 that I used to write on in Paperclip and play Die Pyramid. I got am IBM with Windows 3 when I went to college, and now I have two computers - a desktop and a laptop - both on the cheap end of good.


3. When and how did you first get on the internet? – My college VAX account, which linked me up to BBSes, MUDs, and MOOs. I used to roleplay on MOOs a lot, and build rooms and program effects.


4. Which geek fandom do you subscribe to? – Doctor Who, My Little Pony, Star Trek (kind of), Star Wars (I own Princess Amidala and Jedi Dolls, yo), Japanese Anime and Manga (particularly Magical Girl series like Wedding Peach and Princess Tutu), I used to cosplay Anime characters. I spent years writing fanfiction for Mortal Kombat (yes, it has a plot), Gundam Wing, and Final Fantasy 7. I have gotten more into American Comics series, like Avengers and Green Arrow, via the live action reboots. I tend to find the comics themselves too sexist for me to endure, however; the live action can't deform women's bodies the way drawings can, so it's easier for me to put up with the rest of the casual sexism and usual Bechtel Test Fail.


5. Star Trek or Star Wars? – Star Wars, though I never thought it lived up to its potential. I also do like Star Trek, but the continual reboots lost my interest and certain aspects of it are just goofy. I would pick Doctor Who over both of them, however.


6. How Geeky Are You? – I got 81%: "Smartypants! Why are you mucking about with stupid personality quizzes instead of solving the world’s energy problems and genetically engineering flies that can find their way around windows?" I'm actually not an engineer at all, but I know HEX colors, of course - I used to manually program my website - and I've always liked Buckyballs (they, like Fractals and other bits of match which become artistic, fascinate me). It would be interesting to know why they picked those questions, as a lot of them seemed to be specifically about historical knowledge and not anything I'd consider pure Geek, but then we'd need an operational definition of Geek and things could get messy.

( More pictures here. )

Credits: 

Built with GallifreyWrite, which was created by Sherman. 
Textured in Corel Paint Shop Pro

Twisted Color Challenge: Week 47 - Dawn in Bayou

For Dawn in the Bayou I wanted a simple, casual style. I actually started with an entirely different outfit in mind, but the pink ended up being all wrong, and the teal wasn't quite right, and so I shook my inventory a bunch and this outfit fell out. I ended up really liking it, for all that it was mostly happenstance; I'll start at the toes, just because I normally don't, and because that's the pink I ended up using as my basis. These amazing shoes from SLink are a 100% Donation Item to Soles for Souls, and also feature her new very high heeled feet. I love the color on this, ad the open cutwork along the calves. The medium shoe was a little fatter than my calves, but even up close the divergence is not obvious. There is either a pointy toed add-on to them, or the open toed version I'm showing here. I set my toe nail polish to match, picking Nine Inch Nails' Deco set for a dusky pink; she does awesome things with dusty colors. I added in these amazing rigged shorts from G Field which were released ages ago, and which I'm wearing in large because it fits my rounded stomach, and I love how it flutters down over my thighs really well. The only other bit of pink is my lips - a lovely shade of opal from Mock, with a lovely pearlescent finish. I kept it as close to nude as I could so that my teal eyeshadow - also from Mock - would stand out more.

At belly button level is a gorgeous belly button ring from De La Soul, part of the Glaive set, which are not only color changing, but which also have a really fun design as well - all curls and dangles. I added teal nails from A:S:S, which are a lovely vibrant color that was a perfect match for this Sn@tch top which had been part of a fishing prize. I really recommend staying alert for Sn@tch's fishing changes, as the outfits which can be gotten that way are well worth the hundred dollar purchase of a fishing rod. I have an alt who fishes for me, and I'm always up for a trade. This top isn't mesh, the prims that make it up are snappy and cool, and those outfits usually include everything, from cloths to shoes to jewelry. Speaking of jewelry, this really cute necklace from AZE Designs has been hanging around my inventory for a while, and I still really like it. The shell design keeps it casual, and the turquoise is simply lovely. My hair is a recent release from Wasabi Pills, the jungle color almost right with a little bit of extra blue to make it match the teal. I love the short, loose hair which fluffs out at my cheeks. Finally, my cute and fun poses are from Don't Freak Out. What I like most about them is how natural and quirky they are - not only do I rarely have to content with twisted limbs, but I think the attitude of these poses really add something to my images without making me look like I'm a model on the sidewalk.

( More pictures here. )

Credits: 

Skin: Izzie's, Irene
Hair: Wasabi Pills, Mila
Ears: Illusions, Seelie Ears
Eyes: De La Soul, Rainbow
Eyelashes 1: SLink, Mesh Lashes
Eyelashes 2: Flugeln Brise, 05-A
Eyeshadow: Mock, Glitter Pop Eshadow
Lipstick: Mock, Opal Lipcolor Matrix
Wings: Deviance, Sidhe
Hands and Feet: SLink, Rigged Mesh Hands and Feet
Finger Nails: A:S:S, Glamour silk
Jewelry: AZE Designs, Flux Turquoise & Puka Shell
Shirt: Sn@tch, Velvet Top (Fishing Prize)
Bellyring: De La Soul, Glaive Piercings
Shorts: G Field, Frill Shorts
Toe Nails: Nine Inch Nails, Deco
Shoes: SLink, Demi Boots Blush (Shoetopia Donation Item)

Pose: Don't Freak Out

Location: Miri's Club at the Station
Light Settings: Phototools, Got It light
Water Settings: Glassy

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

How NOT to pick up a chick in Second Life - Episode 12

It's been a while since I've been hit on - and this particular example is especially astonishing because of the rapid turnaround in attitude after a single "no." This is actually fairly common in these kinds of interactions, along with the astonishing lack of interest in anything about me beyond my appearance - despite the fact that lots of information about me is literally in my profile, a single click away.

[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: hello fairy girl
Deoridhe Quandry: Hello.
[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: blow kiss onto your forehead

This sort of immediate and inappropriate virtual physical contact is actually a technique used by Pick-up Artists who by and large disdain women. It's called Kino Escalation, and the idea is to build in a sense of familiarity and comfort in women by touching us almost immediately. Personally, it makes me deeply uncomfortable. While I am an inveterate hugger and cuddler, I expect people I just met to be quite a bit more hands off because I don't yet know what they want, and I am suspicious by nature at this point.

Deoridhe Quandry blinks.
[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: cute!!
Deoridhe Quandry: Thank you.
[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: very welcome, sweet
[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: ok, sorry to bothered you, bye
Deoridhe Quandry: No bother at all.
[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: realy?
Deoridhe Quandry: Yes, I'm not inclined to lie in general.

[Private Chat] Deoridhe Quandry: I'm being hit on... badly.
[Private Chat] Ro: lol Deo

[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: is a good thing
Deoridhe Quandry: I believe so, yes.
[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: i like it~
Deoridhe Quandry: You like... what?
[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: you're  not inclined to lie
Deoridhe Quandry: Ah, yes. Most people prefer truthful people.
[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: giggles, sure

[Private Chat] Deoridhe Quandry: Seriously. He keeps giggling at me.
[Private Chat] Charlie: dawww a giggler
[Private Chat] Ro: XD 

[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: lovely eeyes
Deoridhe Quandry: Thank you. A friend of mine made them.
[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: nice job..and  breast too, smiles
Deoridhe Quandry: Those are mostly the corset. It's a very good bit of mesh.
[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: yeah, realy  good..

[Private Chat] Deoridhe Quandry: And he's talking about my breasts. >.> Bets on how long it will take him to ask me for sex?
[Private Chat] Charlie: Catlyn is a girl's name btw Deo, did you notice that?
[Private Chat] Deoridhe Quandry: Yup, but male body. Sometimes a G I R L?
[Private Chat] Charlie: BURR is missing the lesbian hitting on Deo!!!
[Private Chat] Charlie: LOL

Deoridhe Quandry: Creators on Second Life are very skilled.
[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: yes, is a wonderful place for everything
Deoridhe Quandry: Not everything, but certainly a place for some creators to do wonderful work.
[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: yes, well to meet cute girls loke you  too giggles
[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: like*
Deoridhe Quandry: I suppose. ^.^
[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: :))
[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: hug's
Deoridhe Quandry: Hugs?
[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: yes

That is when I notice he has triggered a "hug" animation. I'm wary of animations from virtual strangers in Second Life, so I prefer to not accept them; it may say hug and do very different things, after all.

Deoridhe Quandry: No thank you. I just met you.
[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: so disgusting you are huh, fuck you then
Deoridhe Quandry laughs. "Wow, are you really so pathetic that a single no makes you abusive?"
[Girl Name, Boy Shape]: sorry busy a bit

[Private Chat] Deoridhe Quandry: And "you are cute" to "you are disgusting" in a single no.
[Private Chat] Charlie: Wow... only took two letters.
[Private Chat] Deoridhe Quandry: Astonishing, isn't it?
[Private Chat] Charlie: totally

In many of my posts of this sort I've talked about how this process of being hit on in public is not really a complement - that it is more about the person making the approach than any actual interest in me. The exchange above is a clear example of this - the second I asserted myself as someone who could say "no," even by not responding, this person became first covertly and then overtly hostile. That's because this isn't ultimately about me at all - I am a receptical of all of his assumptions about women and the purpose we serve in his life, and any deviation from what he thinks should happen - e.g. he complements my breasts and I consent to physical contact with him - is met with not just hostility but extreme and rapid hostility. 

This is also part of why women are so reluctant to say no, even politely, in situations where this hostility can be followed up by violence. On Second Life I am safe. Short of griefing me - and there are tons of ways of responding to griefing - he can't harm me, and so it's safe for me to be completely honest and defend my own boundaries. If someone like this were hitting on me offline, though, I would be much more likely to lie and escape as quickly as possible, consenting to what I need to in order to stave off the inevitable overt hostile response to a no as I seek out a permanent escape. In a world where a simple "no thank you" is met with "fuck you,"  from entitled creeps, the best defense for women is to not be clear.

( More pictures here. )

Credits:

Skin: Izzie's, Irene
Hair: Exile, Dream of Paradise
Ears: Illusions, Seelie Ears
Eyes: De La Soul, Rainbowstances 2
Eyelashes 1: SLink, Mesh Lashes
Eyelashes 2: Flugeln Brise, 05-A
Eyeshadow: MiaSnow, rainbow 4 green
Lipstick: Mock, Bella Vetro Gloss
Wings: Deviance, Sidhe
Hands and Feet: SLink, Rigged Mesh Hands and Feet
Nails: Virtual Insanity, All Hallows Eve 2
Jewelry: Mandala, Milky Way
Corset: Immateria, Dunwich Corset
Skirt: Mon Tissu, Oxford Pencil Skirt
Stockings: Miamai, Ombre Stockings (Shoetopia Gatcha)
Shoes: Boom, Olycena Bow Pumps (Shoetopia)

Poses: Grafica

Location: Manet
Light Settings: Phototools, Lo Light 04
Water Settings: Glassy

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

Twisted Color Challenge: Week 46 - Rosewood Mist

I stumbled on my outfit for Rosewood Mist entirely by accident. I've been running so far behind on the Twisted Color Challenge that I started collecting things, and by Friday I was very concerned since I'd landed something for the next challenge, but nothing yet for Rosewood Mist - and then I went to the Limited Bizarre, and a few stops later my entire outfit was set with remarkable east, and a little tinting. To begin with, the gown from Les Petit Details is a limited edition, but when I saw the shape of the dress I simply couldn't resist purchasing it and showing it off. I love an unusual silhouette, and this one manages to combine transparency and blousiness with with a sleek minidress. The dress isn't quite smooth at the waist - it's a rigged mesh mini over a textured layer - and the blousy overshirt doesn't quite touch to the edges of the skirt, but I found as I moved and took pictures that this doesn't stand out at all. I'm sincerely tempted to head over to the store to pick up a few others of this style; despite Second Life being a place where almost anything can be made, a lot of clothing seems to fall into familiar silhouettes and styles. I wanted a loose hairstyle that mixes formality and informality, and this hair from LeLutka fit the bill well. I'm not used to quite such fluffy hair, and I quite like how it looks when my hands end up tangled within it.

Wearing this dress, I then found my way to the Acid Lily Gallery because I had seen some stockings that interested me greatly. Right now I'm in the process of adding to my SLink foot compatible stockings, now that my shoe collection has grown so significantly, and these pastel stockings with wing detail from Cannibelle simply called to me. There is a little bit of overlap at the ankle, something which I believe is almost impossible to remove for sheer stockings, but otherwise they are flawless (The creator contacted me and let me know that if you only wear the underwear level, it removes the overlap at the ankles.). I liked how their sheerness echoed the sheer top of my dress, and the sheerness of my wings, keeping that theme consistent and balanced. On my feet I changed tack and made the blue darker, though, adding some rope detailing in these amazing new releases from Lassitude & Ennui, available at Shoetopia where I took these pictures (Can you believe I could still turn on shadows? Neither can I.). I have long been a fan of their shoes, but these latest releases have simply blown me away. The knots holding the bands of rope are exquisite, and the shoe itself somehow manages to be both rough and delicate all at once. One other thing I adore Lassitude & Ennui for is leaving their shoes modify-ok, which means I'm able to take their white ones and tint them slightly blue, thus pleasing me greatly. One final note on Shoetopia, I found Elysium Hynes' pinterist board for it incredibly helpful. In addition to pictures of all of the available items, she also included links to each area, and so I was able to leap about from stop to stop picking up only what I absolutely wanted to. Bless her, truly.

( More pictures here. )

Credits:

Skin: Izzie's, Irene
Hair: LeLutka, Dulcina
Ears: Illusions, Seelie Ears
Eyes: De La Soul, Rainbow
Eyelashes 1: SLink, Mesh Lashes
Eyelashes 2: Flugeln Brise, 05-A
Wings: Deviance, Sidhe
Hands and Feet: SLink, Rigged Mesh Hands and Feet
Nails: Orc Inc, Pastel Shimmer
Bracelet: Eclectica, Nouveau Leaves
Dress: Les Petits Detail, Chica Dress
Stockings: Cannibelle, Angel Wing Tights
Shoes: Lassitude & Ennui, Bound

Pose: Olive Juice

Location: Shoetopia
Light Settings: Sim Default
Water Settings: Sim Default

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

Monday Meme: Introspection

This Monday Strawberry is asking us all to be introspective, and since that's sort of my middle name, I'm built for this kind of stuff.I love, sometimes to excess, examining myself and the world around me, trying to highlight the patterns which weave through all of our lives and tie us together.I am imperfect at best, but very good at talking about it, and I tried to pick some of my past pictures that fit an introspective mood.

1. Regardless of your current number, how old do you actually feel? – I felt seventeen for a very long time. Now... maybe mid twenties? It isn't connected to a real age, more of a body sense.


2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? – It really depends on what you're failing to do, and what you're trying to do. I would rather fail at doing something ultimately wrong, than try to do something without integrity. I'm not always sure that trying is the proper thing to do in our lives, and failing is often outside of the realm of our control. In my job, though, I often try to fail as part of sharing with the person I'm working with that failing isn't the end of the world - and I think what I've learned best is how to recover from failure, and how to make an honest apology.


3. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? – I honestly don't know. I think our entire culture would be so different that it wouldn't be recognizable to us. Even back in the time when the "average lifespan" was forty, what that meant was that infant mortality was extremely high; there were still elderly people.


4. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? – It really depends on how you define "right." I try to do everything with integrity, though sometimes that integrity is acknowledging my own tiredness and weaknesses because they are integral to who I am. I would not be myself without my flaws. I want to do right things, but I'm sort of resigned to eternal failure on that count, as errors will always be made, and I'm unlikely to ever have perfect enough knowledge to always act correctly (and sometimes there is no correct action).


5. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? – I think it's impossible for me to be a simpleton. That sounds really conceited typed out like that, but the truth is I was raised with critical analysis of media by my mother, who was really worried about the effect of children's cartoons on me, and even when I'm being joyful and silly and acting deliberately stupidly, there's a layer of self-reflection in there which I think doesn't enable me to be "simple." My training as a therapist has only increased the layered nature of my cognition; I now routinely keep at least two layers of thought going, and that doesn't really vanish even when I'm not working with a client.




6. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? – I have no idea... I should ask my friends. I feel like I'm a bad friend, and that's why I don't have many, but I'm also an introvert. Honestly, I don't know. I know I meet people badly; meaning I am bad at it.


7. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now? – Yes, and honestly... yes. I have a few things I've been really upset by over time, and all of them have long and lasting effects on my life.


8. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? – When I got my intern number for being a therapist. I actually screamed aloud and spent a while jumping around. I was a lot more excited by it than I expected I would be.


9. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? – Absolutely not - I love my job - but I would probably set up a trust to fund my position at my job, or set up some sort of clinic through my employer to better help my clients. We have so little, and we do a lot with it but there are so many more people we should be helping, and we just don't have the staff or the funds or the stability.




10. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? – I would Tardis together my group of friends from where I last lived with two of my cousins, some Second Life friends, and my work friends and clients. Then I'd have to figure out a way to pull together everyone they want to be with on the last day, because I don't think it's right that my desire to be with them should trump their desire to be with someone else. Around there, even in the abstract this becomes a logistical nightmare.


11. What do you feel is the difference between being alive and truly living? – Most simply, being alive is respiration and truly living is reflecting on the purpose of respiration, but sometimes I think many other mammals have humans beat and live more fully because they are always in touch with their senses, instead of distracted by deep thoughts. Yeah, that directly contradicts itself; I am Legion and I contain multitudes.


12. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? – I hate knowing how I hurt people. Most of my biggest mistakes are times I have wounded others where I can never make amends; I can never fix it. That's why I hate making mistakes even while I acknowledge I inevitably will. I'm trying to get better at making amends.


13. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? – I'd wear different clothing. I love Lolita, but offline I feel like I look like a pile of laundry in it (and I haven't prioritized making some that fits me) and so I don't wear it often. I also might go out more; the reality that people judge me based on my weight makes meeting new people really difficult for me.


14. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? – Find people who will always tell you their truth and use them as your lodestones - not to determine where you stand, but to figure out your orientation when making your own choices. We use North to orient ourselves, but we don't try to move there.

( More pictures here. )

Twisted Color Challenge: Week 45: Magician’s Life

The Magician's Life is one of slight of hand - of drawing the eye one way while magic goes on the other way. Much like the Lost Town display by Rebeca Bashly, the direction you're looking in changes everything. For a long time I have thought, I'm not sure why, that bell hooks was no longer alive - that I had her books to relate to and think on, but that she herself was in the past. Like how we talk about slavery and discrimination against Native Americans as if it happened hundreds of years ago, there is a way in which my perspective and inherent racism set me at a distance from bell hooks, and it was only through one of those incredible rabbit holes we cannot plan that I had the pleasure of seeing her and Melissa Harris-Perry speak on a wide range of topics related to gender, race, and class - as well as seeing the give and take of discussion, and a small smattering of how they handle various kinds of interactions with others in the community. I finished the talk with a mind stuffed full of thoughts and an increased appreciation for my own blindness. Sometimes it feels as if I spend my whole life preparing for these moments where I will discover I am wrong, I was unable to perceive what is around me - and then all at once it springs forth in front of me. There is barely any room for the shame, so lost am I in the joy of new discovery.

One thing which stood out for me is how we loose other people in our rush to make statements about the circumstances we all live within. This is something I've struggled with myself. In my rush to condemn sexism, I have often ended up targeting other women - policing their dress and appearance, judging their lives and choices, holding myself up against them as somehow better because of my relative wealth and circumstances. This paves over a fundamental insecurity, one which Harris-Perry touched on when she discussed how her voice was amplified at the behest of powerful white men. How power is created, gathered, maintained, and transferred is at the root of a lot of the inequality in the world. Once it passed through land and lineages. Now it passes through cash. In both cases it passed through the hands of men in the history of the culture I am within, and that tendency bends the world. I have a lot more to think about, but I and deeply grateful to bell hooks and Melissa Harris-Perry for sparking so much thought in only an hour and a half.

My hair is a gorgeous release from Alice Project; it was a gatcha prize with this coloration, but the hair itself can be bought at her store. I love her rainbow hued hair, especially when it's all winking in and out of the light like this. I tucked under it a delicate crown from Deviance, another gatcha prize and one of a number of gorgeous choices - all tintable, which is what I did in order to make a silvery circlet match up with the purple and cream of Magician's Life. My wings are also from Deviance, their usual shimmering white tinted ever so slightly toward cream to balance out the purple of my gown. My layered lips are a combination of two lips by Adore & Abhor - the larger purple lips forming a frame for her smaller baroque style, this time in sparkling gold. I tipped my nails in cream and gold thanks to Orc Inc, who has some of the most complete and economical nail sets on the grid. And finally, the gown - this gorgeous gown from Baiastice released for the FaMESHed event, caught my attention from the very first. I especially like the scalloped patterns on the sleeves, and how they are ruched above the elbow, but the careful rigging of the skirt so that it almost always appears like the skirt is skipping along the ground or flowing up with my movements. While I didn't photograph it, one of the !bang poses I flipped through is of my avatar holding her knee, and the dress bent almost perfectly at that joint, with none of the noodliness that you sometimes see with other dresses or boots, where the knee joint is rubbery and rounded. Instead it moved beautifully, and the ruffled edge makes even simple standing poses look elegant and natural.

( More pictures here. )

Credits:

Skin: Izzie's, Irene
Hair: Alice Project, Steph II
Crown: Deviance, Erulisse Circlet
Ears: Illusions, Seelie Ears
Eyes: De La Soul, Rainbow
Eyelashes 1: SLink, Mesh Lashes
Eyelashes 2: Flugeln Brise, 05-A
Lipstick 1: Adore & Abhor, Fluff Lips
Lipstick 2: Adore & Abhor, Silent Star - Shine
Wings: Deviance, Sidhe
Hands and Feet: SLink, Rigged Mesh Hands and Feet
Nails: Orc Inc, Pastel Shimmer
Necklace: Lassitude & Ennui, Stacked Pearls
Dress: Baiastice, Shannon

Pose: !bang

Location: Lost Town
Light Settings: TOR, NIGHT That Spells Moon 1
Water Settings: Glassy

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only