Blood in the Snow

Within Second Life, it's easy to not make any significant decisions. Second Life is, in many ways, safe. Falling won't kill. Guns won't hurt. Even the words are often insulated by miles an mysteries. Offline, I spend a lot of time not being sure if my decisions are sound. I spend time doing things, then being afraid for the results. Bad things happen, and they're partially my fault, and then I blame myself. I try to do my best, and I so, so often fall far short of the goal. More and more, I'm beginning to wonder if the enormous output of energy I have on reminding myself of how much I suck is really worth it. It makes me stressed and unhappy. It's like those times as a teenager I would get a bloody nose and just watch the blood drip down onto the pure white of the porcelain basin, entranced by my own suffering. The contrast of red on white is a stark one, and one usually associated with a wound or injury. Second Life is a fangless world without actual physical wounds, but the ways in which we preset ourselves through our avatars can reflect the more subtle emotional wounds so many of us carry. Our pain and self-hatred can form themselves as bruises, or gems, or a cracked doll skin. We can reform our weaknesses into beautiful shapes and pictures, somehow redeeming pain with self-expression. The very safeness of Second Life makes it a prime place to flower free in ways we might be afraid to offline, to be honest in ways we may not offline, to relax our boundaries. The lack of consequences has it's own effects, encouraging me to rethink large aspects of my offline life in a place where it's easy and pleasant to pretend to have no cares.

I'm layered and warm in this look, starting with a curling Truth hairstyle which all  but engulfs my ears, large as they are. One thing I like about Truth's style is how it is open and loose without being too flyaway or formal. I also love the little bows, which are included and matched my outfit perfectly. My lips are a gorgeous shade of deep red from Adore & Abhor, and I was aiming for something rich and slightly dull to go with this charming cape top from Ur Favorite One. The invisi-layer is critical for this, but I quite like the effect of it overall; the hood is adorable, the collar looks soft and warm, and the length is charming. It's also quite unique, which is why I picked it up despite my usual resistance to separates. It's a little difficult to find clothing for underneath, but it works well with a knee length skirt or a pair of pants. I went for the former by layering under it one of katat0nik's latest releases, which unfortunately hides it's wonderful metal bodice but which still shows off a sweetly rigged, knee-length skirt with the simple, clear texturing that katat0nik is known for. My stockings are an old favorite - Stellar - and are a much darker color; I thought they balanced out my wings, from Deviance. I also wanted to capture some of the darker tones right before slipping into these elegant new shoes from Eclectica. I love the way the bows are done in particular; they really look like ribbon tacked on to the back. I also love the texturing - look at the rich red and soft cream, the gentle wood of the heel. It's such a simple design, and yet so lovely.

( More pictures here. )

Credits: 

Skin: Izzie's, Irene
Hair: Truth, Velvet
Ears: Illusions, Seelie Ears
Eyes: De La Soul, Rainbow
Eyelashes 1: SLink, Mesh Lashes
Eyelashes 2: Flugeln Brise, 05-A
Lipstick: Adore & Abhor, 13 Lips Earth
Wings: Deviance, Sidhe
Hands and Feet: SLink, Rigged Mesh Hands and Feet
Finger Nails: A:S:S, Glamour silk
Cape: U.F.O., Ponpon Cape Coat (Collabor88)
Dress: katat0nik, Metal Corset Dress
Stockings: Stellar, In Bloom Tights
Shoes: Eclectica, Brocade Court Shoes

Poses: Diesel Works

Location: Crash Boat
Light Settings: Phototools, rara Home Fall Light
Water Settings: Glassy

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

SL Disney Bound – Week Twelve: Mr. Smee

I always loved Peter Pan, though I tended to focus more on the books than the movie from Disney. Mr. Smee we was jolly and kind and thought to be feared when he wasn't, and in a lot of ways he's more Captain Hook's valet than anything else - something which would make sense for the archaic stylings of pirates of fiction, with their aping of the mores of English nobility. The valet, like the lady's maid, was a body-servant, your most intimate inferior, simultaneous close and eternally divided by class. Jeeves and Wooster is one series of stories about the relationship between a gentleman and his valet where the gap in understanding - where the valets are often far more knowledgeable of the Master than vice versa - is made very clear. This is something which I, raised in my invisible class system where we confuse affluence and skin tone for class, don't fully understand, though I do understand having privileges which blind one to the experiences of other people who are different and who have more demands placed on them. Mr. Smee, with his actual kindness and yet his desire to be seen as fierce, embodies this inherent conflict between reality and the dreams we try to bring about in our lives, as well as showing that there are none so blind as those who cannot see.

I began my makeover into Ms. Smee with this dress from Dilly Dolls; it seemed perfect to me, from the Peter Pan collar to the stripes, even if they were vertical instead of horizontal. I love the little cap sleeves on the top, and the frills of the skirt; it's so cute and flirty. The shoes, likewise, were a simple fall into my inventory - a new release from Felicity, they have a fun strappiness and some gems along the edge like every good pirate should have. The tinting on the foot has changed from her previous releases; I found if I made my skintone brighter - closer to pure - and lighter at the same time, and it was fairly easy to match up. I tossed a cute pigtail style on from Truth in white to match Smee's beard, and tinted the bands red to match Smee's hat, and then added a cap on top of it from a store I hadn't heard of before called Yj-vita. I love the bright red of it, the delicate white patterns and the tiny pageboy brim. The final touches of red come from Mock, in the form of double layers of her lipstick, and nails, a saturated color from Izzie's. I'm a very girly Smee, but I think I qualify for First Mate.

( More pictures here. )

Credits: 

Skin: De La Soul, Candace - Creamer
Hair: Truth, Bunny
Hat: Yj-vita, Casquette Cap
Eyes: De La Soul, Rainbow
Eyelashes 1: SLink, Mesh Lashes
Eyelashes 2: Flugeln Brise, 05-A
Eyeliner: Belleza, Neon Eyeliner
Lipstick 1: Mock, Pimento Lip Kelle
Lipstick 2: Mock, Mizu Venetian Red
Ears: Illusions, Seelie Ears
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Hands: SLink, Enhanced Mesh Hands
Nails: Izzie's, SLink Metallic Nails
Dress: Dilly Dolls, Kasset White & Dark (promotional)
Shoes: Felicity, Olivia Stilettos (promotional)

Poses: Adorkable Poses

Location: Fair Winds
Light Settings: Places Astryls Wild
Water Settings: Glassy

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

Wrapped Up With A Bow

A long time ago, I began to notice some changes in packaging and started collecting some of the most fantastic and my favorites, meaning to pull together a few now and then for pictures. And I kept forgetting, or having something else to do, but finally I have pulled them all together and they are epic. These are just the ones with built in poses with me standing, so they're a little more repetitive than my usual shots, but I really think the inventive and glorious packaging - all of it giving you things either automatically or with a single click - speaks for itself. Above is the packaging from De La Soul, which contains the tree that is in the middle of the store along with a picture of the product. Below is an adorable corset-purse from Favole (since closed) that I seriously considered keeping just as the purse - it's well made and totally adorable, and comes with the hand-outstretched pose for easy clicking. The Frooti package was probably the funniest, including me falling backwards with fruit flying everywhere; it makes me giggle every time I see it. I also love the dollies, and the tiny packages, all carefully held out so that you can see them and click them easily. Inventive packaging is among my favorite thing in Second Life - it adds such fun and whimsy to a routine endeavor. Each of these pictures is a different store (except for one repeat).

My bow, which is nearly swallowing my head, was an awesome release from SoliDea FoliEs, a store which has joined my growing list of stores to check out when I have some time and attention. I love the big, swoopy curves. My one complaint is it is very hard to find a hair to fit under it - I once talked about making a "hood friendly" hair folder for moments like this, especially now that more and more hair is un-editable mesh. My hair is a gorgeous release from Truth that I picked up after finally cramming myself into the sim during his sale. I blew a lot of cash for that, and this is one of the awesome, curly results. I love the loose curls - they blow me away, all loose and sweet. My dress is from one of my longtime favorite stores that I haven't blogged for ages - but she is no less amazing; Blue Blood is simply the To Go to store for well made, Gothy Lolita clothing. I particularly love her huge, floofy, layered skirts with their rich and dark textures. She's making some forays into mesh now, but I return time and again to her prim clothing because they're simply fun and still very well made. Check out the adorable bows at my hips; so adorable. Finally, my shoes are from another old favorite, G Field; I've worn her bow boots many times, but these bow shoes I keep returning too because they're simply solid.

( More pictures here. )

Credits:

Skin: De La Soul, Candace (promotional item)
Eyes: De La Soul, Rainbow (promotional item)
Ears: Illusions, Seelie Ears
Eyelashes 1: SLink, Mesh Lashes
Eyelashes 2: Flugeln Brise, 05-A
Hair: Truth, Kasia
Bow: SoliDea FoliEs, Haudrey
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Dress: Blue Blood, Acha
Jewelry: Eclectica, 'Flora' Jewelry
Hands: SLink, Mesh Hands
Nails: Orc Inc, Glitterslash
Shoes: G Field, Bow Strap Shoes

Poses: Various

Location: Cupcake
Light Settings: TOR, FOGGY Silent Heck
Water Settings: Glassy

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

Weakness for the Past: Medici, Borgia, Michelangelo, and Machiavelli

I have a distinct weakness for the past - though it's not the glamorous (and largely fictitious) past of the early nineteenth century in Hollywood, but rather Florence in a time of violence, beauty, chaos, creativity, horror, and passion.It was a time of my favorite sculptor, Michelangelo; my favorite patriarch, Lorenzo de Medici, the father of modern political thought and a strand of ethics, Machiavelli, and my favorite family, the Borgias. So much was crammed in such a little period of time, and in such a small place as Florence - a place I have never been and yet that I love in absentia. The resurrection of this love in my mind was inspired by a series of posts by Ex Urbe about Machiavelli (Parts I, Ia, II, III, IV, Extra) which re-awoke in me all of the love inspired by my initial exploration of Michelangelo and his art in High School. Love for the Medici family is part and parcel of love of Michelangelo, but I came at the Borgias from another angle - a Japanese angle oddly enough - and fell in love with them, for all of their horror and cruelty, before I realized they were part of the same time I had studied before as a peaceful time of plenty. Machiavelli was a late love, and mostly read because everyone spoke about The Prince as if it was the handbook of horror.

Coming off of Aristotle, Machiavelli was a respite; Aristotle is a philosopher who loathes the period so much that he can't stand using it more than two or three times a page, while Machiavelli's style was simple and concise and with the semi-colon returned to it's place as occasional, rather than continual, punctuation mark (seriously, if you're reading philosophy outside of a class, forget Socrates and Aristotle - Machiavelli is your friend). I fell into his style so easily that it took a while to figure out that much of what he was saying was ethically monstrous to me, if practical and with some solidity of reason. I didn't realize until reading through Ex Urbe's entertaining history of Florence and Machiavelli how tightly all of my favorites fit together, and how deeply tumultuous that period of time was. Even for people who don't like history, I really recommend checking this out; maybe you will join me in the "I love Florence" corner with Machiavelli, drunkenly arguing about whether the Ends justify the Means.

My second ode to Hollywood took me to World's End Garden despite the threat of clash with my deliciously over-the-top feathered accessories from Eclectica. Somehow managing to take showgirl style and turn it into fantastic formal-wear, the second I saw these in a notecard I knew I had to have them. Anyone who has worn clothing with feathers knows that Alpha Occlusion is a real and present danger, but somehow Eclectica has managed to form everything so that issues are relatively minimal and the effect is usually attractive, not awful. I'm honestly not quite sure how she did it; the biggest issues were between my hair and the feathers, where the transparent layers really didn't get along. All of the effects in my pictures are form Second Life, by the way; I know all my pictures say that in the credits, but I want to reiterate - there has been absolutely no photoshopping to clean up the alpha in these pictures. The second Hollywood purchase is this amazing sparkly dress which is available in just about every color imaginable, of which I splurged on three, from Epic. The store name fits the dress. The mesh dress itself is a template, but the texture simply blew me away. I love how the sparkles were achieved, somehow looking authentic without becoming either blotchy or overwhelming. Whether up close or at a distance, the effect remains Epic. I wanted a really simply hairstyle to go with my otherwise extravagant look, so I ended up seeking out Truth and making use of the streaks effects he's added to some of his hairs; I think the two simply purple stripes just finish the look perfectly. The final touch was a somewhat simple but sufficiently Hollywood cosmetics set, and I chose a turquoise color to contrast with the purple stripes in my hair made by my eternal favorite cosmetics store, Mock, complete with a star over one eye.

( More pictures here. )

Credits: 

Skin: De La Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De La Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Ears: Illusions, Seelie
Eyelashes 1: SLink, Mesh Lashes
Eyelashes 2: Flugeln Brise, 05-A
Cosmetics: Mock, Aos Si Stars Turquoise
Hair: Truth, Maggie w/Roots
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Feathers: Eclectica, Flaunt Feathers & Gloves
Dress: Epic, Mesh Princess Glitter

Poses: Glitterati

Location: World's End Garden
Light Settings: AnaLutetia - AvatarOp
Water Settings: Mirror Glass

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

2012 Color Challenge: Week 47 - Barley Corn

Barley Corn was a difficult color to find by name, though I found a couple of barleys. My De La Soul skin, which I think was a limited edition with lovely snakeskin detailing around the eyes, was a limited edition - but Beatrice is still for sale in her store, and barley is an awesome olive-toned skin a few shades darker than my usual Cream. The hair is also called barley and is a more golden tone; from Truth, it's a delicious updo with a fantastic wavy bang which is what attracted me to the style to begin with. I paired it with Felicity's Thanksgiving release, which is a two toned pair of shoes with multiple lacings. Finally, the dress - an old purchase from G Field - is the bit of sweet in the barley, caramel richness which leaves me warm and satisfied. In a little while I might make a sundae - pure vanilla ice cream with warm caramel and fudge dribbled over it - a combination which always makes me smile. If only I had malt, my sundae desires would be purely met.

Cooler weather is always a blessing for me; I overheat pretty easily, and I enjoy the sensation of snuggling down into blankets and feeling them warm up around me. It also inspires that most pleasing of tendencies in my furry companion - the impulse to snuggle. Over the years I've gotten him from pathologically afraid of blankets to happily snuggling under them with me; even as I type this, he's snuggled up next to me, wrapped under the blankets I have across my lap, purring occasionally when I pet him.

( More pictures here. )

Credits: 

Skin: De la Soul, Beatrice, Barley - 2012 Dragon
Eyes: De La Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Eyelashes: SLink, Eyelashes
Ears: Illusions, Seelie Ears
Hair: Truth, Mayim - barley
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Jewelry: League, Pearls & Lace - natural ivory
Dress: G Field, Classic Dress "Erica" - caramel
Shoes: Felicity, Farah Stilettos - Thanksgiving Special (on sale through Monday)

Poses: D.Luxx

Location: Frisch
Light Settings: Places
Water Settings: Mirror Water

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

2012 Color Challenge: Week 28: Astronaut Blue

Astronaut Blue was difficult, and briefly I considered going more astronauty before I opened this outfit and decided it was the one, but I do love the shade. The difficulty was more in not repeating an outfit, which I try to not do for pictures, at least. This gown from Dilly Dolls was a remake of an older gown and has been in my inventory for ages, but I love it - so here you are! The hair is new, though, from Truth and on sale (yay sales~!), and the jewelry is also an old inventory-find from Eclectica that I picked up ages ago, likely on 60$L Weekends. I know, I know, I'm cheap, but I have good taste! I layered Adam n Eve cosmetic details over my staple Mock cosmetics for double the effect - isn't that lip heart simply the cutest thing ever? I now wonder how I could have ever done without both cosmetics and my eyelashes. I wanted to switch over to mesh lashes, but my eyes are simply too oddly shaped (I based them on my offline eyes) to fit most places. I keep hoping some mesh eyelashes will come out that are sectional, so I can edit them to fit my own curves. My face is one of the features I prefer to not change; I worked hard to base it on myself, and when I look at it I see myself (but thinner and prettier!).

Earlier in the week I made a more-serious-than-usual set of paragraphs in a post, and I was thinking about why I posted them here instead of at my more-serious-than-this-blog. There is an aspect to online debates about the abuse and harassment women receive online which causes me deep and abiding pain. I have gotten less than many, being largely in female-dominated areas and with a gender-neutral name, but I'm far to aware of my own vulnerability to it, and I don't know if I would react with as much grace as Watson and Sarkeesian have. Counterbalancing something that painful with pretty pictures of myself in beautiful places calms me in a way I can't easily put into words; it reminds me that there is hope and beauty int he world, despite the destructive actions of some of the humans among us. I know that for many it would undercut the message, but for me it's central to my being able to type about those issues - that I can balance the disturbing with the reassuring in my own place.

( More pictures here. )

Credits:

Skin: De La Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De la Soul, RooMee Rainbow
Ears: Illusion, Seelie Ears
Eyelashes 1: *X*plosion, PrimLashes
Eyelashes 2: Flugeln Brise, 05-A
Eyeshadow: Mock, Less of a Blues Girl
Lipstick: Mock, Micare LipGlimmer - Hypoxia
Lipheart: Adam n Eve, Lip Strip Heart Blue
Hair: Truth, Cynthia (Sale Item at Truth District)
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle Wings
Jewelry: Eclectica, Rococco - cobalt
Dress: Dilly Dolls, Amaranth II Blue
Shoes: Dilly Dolls, Freddi Boots - Lace

Poses: Glitterati

Location: Leroy
Light Settings: Sim Default
Water Settings: Glassy

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

Antique Truth

The Truth District is having special birthday events (I squeaked into the group while it was open right under the wire, but I didn't post in time to share, sorry!) and I'm wearing some of the awesome free and sale items (mostly sale items). Walking around the District, I was struck by how many shopping malls that remain work so hard to be attractive, so decided to snap some pictures once I put on my new shinies. The dress from Aura is a free gift, and quite outside of my usual style - but I like the effect. This is the large, and it still clips my boobs a little, but this awesome half-off Truth hair cover that up nicely. One thing to note - make sure you have your lingerie handy when you wear this dress or you will be flashing the world! Also, if you're taking photographs, be careful with the upward angle; the bottom is completely transparent, so bits of the background kept showing up as my upper thighs; I may do a second set of pictures just to see what interesting things I can make show up there! It was rather entertaining. The jewelry is from Earthstones, also on sale, and comes in rainbow or diamond - I bought rainbow, obviously - with gold or silver metal. The ring from Sugar is from another event, the Fruity Stuff in Stock, and was quite inexpensive as well as coming with a slew of other rings of different macaron flavors.

Have I mentioned lately there are a lot of sales going on? There are a lot of sales going on.

*collapses over her inventory in a faint*

( More pictures here. )

Credits:

Skin: De La Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose (promotional item)
Eyes: De La Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Ears: Illusion, Seelie Ears
Eyelashes 1: *X*plosion, PrimLashes
Eyelashes 2: Flugeln Brise, 05-A
Eyeshadow: Virtual Insanity, Fairy - Gold
Lipstick: Blacklace Beauty, Pout Gloss 2
Hair: Truth, Brandy w/Roots (Truth District Special)
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle Wings
Jewelry: Earthstones, Entice - Rainbow / Gold (Truth District Special)
Dress:  Aura, Summer Sun (Truth District Gift)
Lingerie: Adam n Eve, Moody Monday 19 Ana
Ring: Sugar, Mesh Macaron Ring (Fruits Event)
Shoes: G Field, Square-toed Shoes "Sophia"

Poses: Glitterati

Location: Truth District
Light Settings: Places Abracadabra
Water Settings: Glassy

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping, only

Tuesday's Child is Full of Grace

One of the biggest difficulties with taking pictures "in the wild" so to speak, is the sheer number of builds that far outstripe the size of an avatar. Finding angles where both I and the surroundings can be seen is no easy feat - and one very promising place was left in my rearview mirror because I simply couldn't easily insinuate myself into any pictures of any of the things - they were all too far apart! Add in the difficulties of standing half a meter above sculpties, and it's enough to make a photographer pull her hair out! One of the joys of taking pictures in the wild is the unpredictability - and I suppose this is just of a piece with it all; when you step outside of your own space, you can no longer control everything but things can also become so much more rich - at that edge where you and I meet.

( I was somehow missing my eyelids, which is a very frustrating thing. Big, ugly, bug-eyed Deoridhe. I've reinstalled the latest firestorm - twice - managing to pick up a make-everything-pink glitch, and my eyes are still missing both lids. Have this picture of my butt; the only way there's going to be any grace tonight is if I finally just snap this picture and call it a night - so here I am in my "changing room". Enjoy!  )

Credits:


Skin: De la Soul, Aestali - Cream Rose
Eyes: De la Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ears
Eyelashes 1: Sauce, Sidewinder Lashes
Eyelashes : *X*plosion, PrimLashes
Eyeshadow: Elymode, Green & Sky
Eyeliner: Boom, Midas Touch
Lipstick: Mock, Micare Lipglimmer - Hypoxia
Hair: Truth, Kalia - driftwood (with flower)
Jewelry: Eclectica, Nouveau Rose - moss
Lingerie: Dilly Dolls, Renna's Weeklys (promotional item)
Ring 1: Earthstones, Eternal Blossom Ring
Ring 2: Alchemy Immortalis, Nestling Finger Talisman
Stockings: G Field, Button Socks - green
Boots: Dilly Dolls, Bastian Boots

Pose: Studio Sidhe, Artsy 2

Location: Spring Azure
Light Settings: AnaLutetia - AvatarOpt - whiter

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only 

Being a Winner

I've never won a contest before.

I did end up with a picture in a gothic pin up calendar, but that wasn't a contest with prizes. Usually, I thumb through the winners, admire their work, sometimes follow them on flickr, and nurse my bruised heart in secret.

Not this time, yo!


Credits:
Eyes: De La Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Ears: Illusion, Mystic Fairy Ear
Skin: Curio, Petal April - Rainbow 1
Eyeliner: cheLLe, Cleo Called teal
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Hair: Truth, Miku - macaroon
Dress: Blue Blood, Oceanic Sonata
Necklace 1: Silent Sparrow, Chapiteau Locket - seanorse
Necklace 2: Earthstones, Tree of Live Necklace - Summer
Pose: Glitterati, 087

Location: Eagles Island (Adult)
Light Settings: [TOR] SCIFI - Fog mystic 1
Water Settings: [TOR] Meridian verde

Ocean Sonata had been in my "to be photographed" folder for a while. I have a huge amount of my inventory taken up by Blue Blood, and for a while I was buying... pretty much all of her fatpacks. Ocean Sonata was a special purchase, and comes with the gloves. Especially in comparison to the other two winners, I selected a very bright, cheerful layout for my picture - not at all gothic. It took forever to photograph because the flamingos in the pictures were actually mobile - so there was a long time spend waiting for them to get into an attractive relationship with my poor, arm-stretched avatar.

I paired it with double necklaces from Earthstones and Silent Sparrow, continuing my doubling up on jewelry trend from denim week. I also added the cheLLe eye liner - something which is quickly becoming an addictive habit; it adds a wonderful hint of color, subtle but strong, and sets off the Curio skin - one of my rainbow favorites - gorgeously. The hair is Truth's Miko, a cute, Japanese-styled hair with a tintable bow that almost instantly became teal for this picture. The pose is Glitterati, which is quickly becoming my go-to pose shop. I love all the different moods, though some of that might be an effect of owning... well rather a lot of her model poses. In fact, almost all of them but some of the mid-twenties.


Credits:
Eyes: De La Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Ears: Illusion, Mystic Fairy Ear
Skin: De La Soul, Charlie - Cream Sparkle
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Hair: Tukinowaguma, Adelita - Gold w/black roses
Dress: Blue Blood, Tahiti - Pink
Shoes: G Field, Rose Bootie "Diva" - pink
Pose: Glitterati, 140

Location: Omega Point
Light Settings: [TOR] Awesome Atmo 4

The prize for first place was 3k in Blue Blood clothing, and honestly it didn't take me long to decide. I've been focusing my money on Meeroos recently, and the odd horse, and fallen back on my purchases. Bad Deo! It doesn't help I'm sadly in arrears with opening my boxes, though I've managed to sort through my "new" folder. It didn't take me long to pick out a truly blessed selection of dresses, and it took me only slightly longer to go, "I should make a blog post!"

The first photoshoot illustrated for me, though, why I'm not purely a fashion blogger. I love fashion, and I love photography, but the Tahiti Pink dress above (also from Blue Blood) has been remade into an entirely different, magenta-red color by the lighting I chose, and I'm far to amused by my having green skin despite wearing a Cream Sparkle skin from De La Soul. This is a bad advertisement in some ways, as you need this rather odd windlight setting to get the color and effect, but I love how it looks despite it being... ominous.



Credits:
Eyes: De La Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Ears: Illusion, Mystic Fairy Ear
Skin: De La Soul, Charlie - Cream Sparkle
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Hair: Magika, Mini - Golden Blond
Dress: Blue Blood, Karina - purple
Shoes: Eclectica, Garden Party Shoes - lilac
Pose: Glitterati, 012

Location: Omega Point
Light Settings: [TOR] Eno Would be Proud

I don't particularly enjoy picking apart clothing and offering critiques. Now and then I will - and so far I've gotten positive responses even from those being critiqued - but when I wax long-spoken I'd rather it be on some obscure point of philosophy rather than whether I can see a seam, or if something lines up. That being said, I sometimes thing the combination of philosophical ramblings and pretty pictures of a faerie in different clothes is a somewhat... shall we say messed up premise? There seems to be this tension between being pretty, and being academic; or perhaps it's just that those who like one don't as much like the other? I'm not as much sure.

It is also odd for me to shift between credits for pictures, and commentary on them - and whatever greater point I have. I'm never sure if the transitions are smooth, or whether I should put all the credits up near the top so the people just interested in the clothing can move on without being bothered by endless rambling on things which matter only to a subset of the internet. This is made harder in posts like this, where the pictures are of a wider variety than normal - how do you balance the two, appearance and depth of thought; credits and self-indulgent verbiage?


Credits:
Eyes: De La Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Ears: Illusion, Mystic Fairy Ear
Skin: De La Soul, Charlie - Cream Sparkle
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Hair: Anathema, Loose Ponytail (not available yet)
Dress: Blue Blood, Karina - Whitegoth Green
Boots: katat0nik, Ice/Berry Sweetheart Boot - light green
Pose: Glitterati, 194

Location: Omega Point
Light Settings: Places: Astryls Wild

As a side note, Blue Blood has joined the wide number of creators with auto-unpacking boxes for their clothing which are also decorative. I took a picture wearing what some of the dresses came in, mostly because it struck me so strongly as an amazing sort of thing. The temptation to begin hanging on to packaging for the purpose of wearing it as a form of clothing is immense - and that adds an additional delight to clothing. There is an underlying theme of multiple layers - of things which are multiple things at once - which is intrinsic to human beings and uniquely possible in Second Life.

Like my bottle opener which is a fish, and like trying to be a fashionaerie who lapses regularly into existential philosophy and social psychology, I like things which operate on multiple layers; I like things which offer a variety of things, a variety of ways to be depending on taste, desire, and circumstances rather than One True Thing to rule them all.

Ironically, this could be viewed as a One True Thing of multiplicity.


Credits:
Eyes: De La Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Skin: De La Soul, Charlie - Cream Sparkle
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Hat (with hair): Eclectica, Knitted Cloche Hat
Jewelry: Eclectica, Manhattan - Quartz
Dress: Blue Blood, Tahiti - Black & White
Boots: Dilly Dolls, Shrew Boots Dark
Pose: Glitterati, 061

Location: Omega Point
Light Settings: Places: Astryls Wild

I've been dwelling recently on how we can value differences while honoring our own truth. It seems like a basic problem which expands to multiple areas of life, from my forays into social justice to blogging about fashion. So often the praising of one thing implies a critique of others; there seems to be an underlying urge for focusing on the few, an inner core of sorts, even within diverse populations like second life. And so you have the somewhat artificial "battles" between Second Life and Facebook, which seem less to be intrinsic to one belonging to one, the other, or (in my case) both and more manufactured to give a sense of controversy and in-group belonging.

Likewise, I find the implication that breedable pets make Second Life somehow less creative to be less a central conflict, and more a shibboleth of a certain, self-referential identification. Meeroos don't make it impossible for artists to do art; they simply offer something else for people to do and focus on. More options, not fewer. Having never been involved in breeding before, I've been enjoying trying different things with my meeroos and seeing what happens - never before has a hobby I had involved a spreadsheet! It's also not led me to neglect my actual, offline pet, any more than the breedable plants I'm making involved neglecting my offline plants - though in the latter case I can keep needed information on a notecard instead of breaking out the office software.


Credits:
Eyes: De La Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Skin: De La Soul, Charlie - Cream Sparkle
Ears: Illusion, Mystic Ear
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Hair: Lamb, Wild Nothing - Honeycomb
Outfit: Blue Blood, Karina - Red
Boots: Favole, Devil's Advocate
Pose: Glitterati, 004

Location: Omega Point
Light Settings: [TOR] HORROR - Namob Isle

I find myself increasingly frustrated by the demand that we be only one thing, focus on only one thing, belong to only one group, have only one focus. Granted, it is sometimes difficult and frustrating to belong to several seemingly mutually exclusive groups. I currently have three circles of friends on Second Life that I have to keep separate, for the enjoyment and peace of mind of members of each group. I also have a group and place I cannot be a part of, for my own enjoyment and peace of mine.

I remember, the first pain that I suffered through Second Life triggered an unusual reaction in a dear friend of mine - she asked me to please not leave the grid. It honestly hadn't occurred to me, nor did it seem something I was likely to do, simply because of a deeply bruised heart. In reflection, though, and after reading some of the louder and quieter 'leaving Second Life' posts on various blogs, I understand more clearly where her worry came from. One possible effect of having a singular focus in Second Life is that when pain occurs along that line, the desire to remain engaged can quickly wither and die.


Credits:
Eyes: De La Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Skin: De La Soul, Charlie - Cream Sparkle
Ears: Illusion, Mystic Ear
Wings: Favole, Peace
Hair: Tukinowaguma, Ariana Gold w/white roses
Outfit: Blue Blood, Karina - Lilac
Pasties: Beautiful, Dirty, Rich, Heat Pasties - White
Belly Ring: Caithlin Carter Designs, Pure Butterfly
Boots: G Field, Flower Pumps "Eve" - white
Pose: Glitterati, 122

Location: Omega Point
Light Settings: [TOR] HORROR - Namob Isle

Likewise, having only one or two things one does in any given medium means the interest is both volatile and fragile. One of the major advantages I've found to blogging is that it begins to form even more connections for me through the appreciation of the creations of others, and their approval of how I present them. One of the disadvantage is the delicate, unspoken threads of demands - the feeling within myself that I owe responses, owe posts, that I should review this or that. There is a quiet guilt for not covering more of my friends more regularly, a pleasure when I can fulfill a request, worries when I can't or don't want to review something, a vague wonder if I will be found wanting for letting something linger in my inventory until I remember it or inspiration strikes.

I want to emphasize these are internal pressures, not based on the actions or reactions of anyone toward me.


Credits:
Eyes: De La Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Skin: De La Soul, Charlie - Cream Sparkle
Ears: Illusion, Mystic Ear
Wings: Favole, Peace
Hair: Exile, Sadie - Blond frost
Outfit: Blue Blood, Karina - Teal and Whitegoth Green Mixed
Boots: G Field, Flower Pumps "Eve" - White
Pose: Glitterati, 111

Location: Omega Point
Light Settings: [TOR] FOGGY - Mint Teahouse

I began the blog as a place to share my photography and a few of my thoughts, and it gradually formed toward a fashion blog as I responded to the responses of store owners and friends. One thing I've learned through time-crunching events like the Fashion Faire, though, is that my strength is not in up to date responses to things as they happen, but rather reflections back and responses to the zeitgeist of the blogs I read and how they intersect with thoughts and experiences in non-SL online places and offline. For my blog to be a joy, and not a chore, I must respond to internal triggers, to stretch my net out widely and catch up any number of fishes, spreading them out for those who are interested.

Sometimes I think I spread too widely, pulling together too many things into a whole that is not cohesive. Balancing many things is a challenge - keeping plates spinning, then setting them down one by one without cracking any of them.


Credits:
Eyes: De La Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Skin: De La Soul, Charlie - Cream Sparkle
Ears: Illusion, Mystic Ear
Wings: ReToX, Bone Wings - Black Metal
Hair: Gauze, Obscura - Gold
Outfit: Blue Blood, Karina - Black
Piercing: Rol Glam-arous, Corset Piercing - Black
Boots: G Field, Bow Strap Shoes "Kate" - black
Pose: Glitterati, 121

Location: Omega Point
Light Settings: [TOR] EUPHORIA low saturation dull deposit

And then I remember I'm not a clown, and this isn't a performance - it's more organic than that. This is the multiple threads of my life, online and off, all interacting and effecting each other in different ways, making up the tapestry of my life. It's a tapestry where I want - where I prefer - variety. It is also a tapestry where I dismiss some threads without a thought, or with minimal thought; it's hard for me to remember that I don't have to accept all opinions of those around me, or spend time weighing them for veracity. I can simply focus on the things I want to, however multiple those may be.

( More pictures here. )

Pretty Drama

I've been thinking a lot about drama, and rumors, and giving and taking offense in Second Life this week. It seems to keep coming up, on the blogs I read and in discussions with friends and acquaintances. In the interest of full disclosure, I am a rabid drama seeker - I love hearing about, gasping about, and listening to other people's drama. My own, not so much, but I find other people's drama endlessly fascinating. The choices people make, when they speak and when they don't, who they tell and whether those people pass on information or not - all an endless source of entertainment for me.

Another gorgeous source of drama is this sim, Daytime Dreams, a collection of some of the most gorgeous art and effects in second life. There are bits and pieces from bunches of artists, all arranged on a checkerboard with physical (kind of - fall on them or bump into them to see!) boxes and balls making the world an interesting place. Drama was originally a theatrical idea, and less a social one, and there is something of big theater in how Daytime Dreams is organized and presented - open spaces for big scenes, smaller spaces for quiet soliloquies, this is a sim which practically begs for pictures to be taken - especially with the largely monochromatic scheme, which lets you add hues of your own desire to the landscape.




Pose: HelaMiyo, Harajuku 1

The outfit I'm wearing (also dramatic - sense a theme?) is from Rock Me Amadeus, and is a review copy of a sort. The creator, was kind enough to pass a gift card my way, and I wandered the store a while trying to find something that really spoke to me before running across this dress and having to have it! It's actually even more amazing live - darker, more reddish purple in the skirt is actually flexible prims, set up so they sway slightly as you move and give the illusion of a flexible puff skirt. The waistline is also highly modified with a cone-shaped prim (separate from the skirt) which gives a truly unique silhouette. I'm seriously considering going back and picking up the other colors once I come off of my Meero-spending fatigue!

My skin is also a gift from De La Soul - Charlie in the cream tone with the sparkle cosmetics. I love how cream glows in most windlight settings, really setting itself apart, and the dark shadow around the eyes really make my Rainbow Roomee eyes (also from De La Soul) stand out. In some of the closer pictures, you might see the slightly iridescent sparkle which gives this cosmetics set it's name. I love the lips ont his set, too - a pale, shell pink which are feminine and natural without being garish. It comes with and without brown brows, and in cleavage and non-cleavage options.

The jewelry is from the gorgeous China Bead set from Eclectica - a lovely combination of multiple colors. I took the hairpin, which normally goes out the back, and modified it so that it would appear to be holding up my Truth Mariposa hair - which I bought on a whim and have totally never regretted. I'm a recent convert to the Truthcult, but I have to admit I might be a lifetime member. The mouthcage is from DownDownDown and I got it out of the Gatcha at the Albero Gatcha Festival this month. Other options from the same Gatcha are a variety of adorable looking candies; I Gatcha have them all! Wings are my usual, and favorite, Fancy Fairy's Azarelle; Ears are the Illusion ones which I pretty much never take off; shoes are from my favorite shoe store, G Field. I'd say I'm in a rut, but they're all so fantastic it's choice, and not habit, which causes me to always wear them!




Pose: HelaMiyo, Harajuku 5

I may look like a sweet, innocent fairy (*waits for the laughter to die down*), but I've also been neck deep in some massive drama as well. From friendships which ended with a whimper instead of a bang, to being on the listening but not offending side of ripped template drama, to people getting up in my business because I'm not the same religion as they are or I don't look or dress as they think I should be - I'd be lying if I said drama and I aren't on a first name basis. I try not to have it as a frequent houseguest, though; sometimes that's a struggle. I have the peacemaker's flaw of wanting all of my friends to get along, and somethings that's simply not in the cards.

The causes of drama are multitudinous, but one of the most common I personally see is based on an initial insult. This flares up in particular in the more social media aspects of Second Life, both on the grid and in the vast network of blogs, facebook accounts, twitter and plurk streams, and other media which surround Second Life. The insult can take many forms, from the valid, to the offensive, to the seemingly benign, but for it to become drama big enough for outsiders to see, enough people need to take sides and make that publicly known for the drama to spread. Sometimes drama carries on, in the hearts and minds of the people offended - whether valid or not - to flare up or make worse something later; a sort of Stealth Drama.




Pose: HelaMiyo, Gown 4

There are a lot of people who decry drama, claim they are never part of it, brush off those who they say are sources of it, and in general make - lets hear it for irony - drama about not being dramatic. (As a side note, off topic, check out that awesome curve of the bodice above; isn't that amazing? And the texturing on the cheeks, the detail in the mouth cage - completely gorgeous!) One thing I've begun to notice, about myself and others, is what we are most likely to say about ourselves the loudest is what is least obvious or evidence in ourselves. So above I claim to be sweet and innocent when I know I am anything but; others claim to be drama free when it dogs their heels; the last person I knew who lauded how direct he was proceeded to be lyingly passive aggressive; I'm sure you all have seen it in others - but it might be worth it to take a moment and try to see it in yourself.

This dark side of us, called by Jungians like myself "the shadow", is by definition what we cannot see directly in ourselves but instead have to see smeared on the forms of the people around us. The things we dislike most in others are often what we deny most in ourselves; the energy spent pursuing and focusing on others is a blind to keep us from seeing the quiet faults knocking on our back door, asking to come in from the cold.




Pose: HelaMiyo, Looking back 1

Lately I've been trying to give myself a little more grace, to accept that when I shine light on myself I necessarily obscure qualities I don't want to see. What this means about my treatment of others I'm less sure of; to demand of myself perfect grace, compassion, and love towards others - no matter how irritating - is clearly a fast track to being a bitch in denial, hiding my venom behind smiles and pleasantly insulting statements. To engage in cruelty toward others doesn't engage my guilt as much as it possibly should, especially when they're bothering me and hugely irritating! I don't know what changes trying to love myself, flaws and all, will have - but if I can recommend it to a client, it behooves me to give it a try myself.

( More pictures here. )

Credits:

Eyes: De La Soul, RooMee Eyes - Rainbow
Ears: Illusions, Mystic Ear - Fairy
Skin: De La Soul, Charlie - Cream CL Sparkle
Wings: Fancy Fairy, Azarelle
Hair: Truth, Mariposa - driftwood
Jewelry: Eclectica, China Beads - hatpin, necklace, and bracelet
Mouth Cage: DownDownDown, Sweet Bird Cage
Dress: Rock Me Amadeus, Runway Blue
Shoes: G Field, Ribbon Slngback Heels - lavender (tinted darker)

Location: Daytime Dreams
Light Settings: purplebluenight

Photographed by Deoridhe Quandry
Post processing: Cropping only